Mobo

This is why it's not advisable to have a conversation with your wife while eating dinner...just remain silent,and nod politely at whatever she says, regardless how stupid or inane her comments are

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: - - - silence - - -

HUSBAND: "Shit."

qtpye4u84

aaaaaahahahahahahahahahah LoL I thought that was very funny and cute!!!!!!
JUst say uhuh babe, uhuh babe to every thing then she will know your not listening, then she will tell you that your not listening,then you tell her sorry, you were thinking of her naked or something then she might not bother you lol and you wont have to talk about what she wants lol.(works on me)

__________________
The QTpie

manalone

ROFL, good one

__________________
--
Man Alone
=======
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary.

questone

Side splitting

pta200

HAHAHAHAHHA!

Schwan

Excellent.

KellyC

Men can never win...

__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

slimshaydee

LMAO
I didnt get that at first

Fob_Magi

lol.. funny

__________________
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward.
Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both.
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I live I will kill you, if I die you are forgiven".
Such is the Rule of Honor.

R3d

LOL nice one

Regziever

Lol perfect!
What a slip.
Great joke!

__________________
Life is shit,
Death is even worse,
So what's the point of killing yourself?
/Ignatius Camryn Paladine

oblar

very nice joke didn't see that ending coming.

__________________
"All that we can do is just survive.
.All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush

Gortexfogg

Nice one!

bond007

vintage!

zaiaz

Damn!....I hate when that happens but the best way to bust someone is to ask them when they are sleeping. I know because I do it all the time.

__________________
Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...

HeLLVieW96

haha, good times, now only to have that played out in a scene of a movie...heh, fun fun

small one

Foot in it

deportes

good one

Sliver Master

lol! I like it .

jahmdir

Nice one...

__________________
Darkened amongst the light is the shadow day and night.

jahmdir

Always some good stuff

Sorry... trying to post to other thread

__________________
Darkened amongst the light is the shadow day and night.

Blackthorn

Now that's HYSTERICAL!!!

__________________
What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?

Cosmo Girl

lol yeah that sounds accurate....what he should have said was...."no one could ever replace you, after you, i don't think that i could ever love another person. After all.... with you, i already have perfection, anything else would be a step back" come on boys...it's not that hard. While i don't recommend this obvious of a cliche...something along those lines, as long as you mean it...works like a charm

akechi

hehehe ~ very funny!

__________________
~DJ PLAY THAT MUSIC LOUDER ONEGAI~

Mobo

I actually tried something similar with my wife today just for kicks. the script suffered a bit but she got pissed. boy, she got pissed.

i then showed her the post and she calmed down a bit.

what is with you women???? cant you talk a joke???

TGB001

I like that one. Will try it on the wife. Never know might get lucky

Traff

open mouth,
insert foot

__________________
The rug
it really tied the room together

smilodon

hehehehehe

Delvid

Great joke or is this a true story?

indiretto

LOL, thats a good one, very funny.

__________________
Happy Tree Friends... It’s more fun than a stick.

omid

LOL nice

__________________
Kick butt buzz-cut dickheads who didn't like what I said.
The good times are killing me.
Jaws clenching tight we talked all night, oh but what the hell did we say?
The good times are killing me.

p0thead

still funny after reading it so many times. thanks!

duckduck

Frickin' sweet.

Though, during the silence part you left out the "wife with frickin' laser beam eyes" part.

__________________
Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!

Captain Canada

Haha. That's a pretty funny one.

__________________
Conclusion: Flamethrowers and Furries go togerther like Pol Pot and the Cambodian populace.

mrphil2

You gotta love a guy that plans ahead!!

__________________
expect the unexpected

tekaweni

<b>HUSBAND: "Shit."</b>

yeah!

__________________
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

yoda77

Being a golfer I heard a similar version of that one but its a CLASSIC...

__________________
DRINK,SMOKE AND LAUGH

tcm_eternal

Yes! I love it
great post

stankybcn1

that's a great one, thanks

__________________
I'll Throw You!

Eric640

good one