Michael Jackson Jokes - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

trickyy · 02-15-2005, 12:57 PM

a link from newsweek/MSN/AJC, entities not affiliated with this board or poster.

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Se...hd.hmedium.jpg

flick · 02-22-2005, 04:29 PM

Hehe.

The funniest joke about this thread is that I couldn't find a joke.

It is inherently funny that a joke thread is so serious. :OD

paulskinback · 02-27-2005, 01:01 PM

What about jokes about his face or the fact that he thinks he is peter pan.... the man is a living joke

trickyy · 03-05-2005, 12:13 AM

hey watch it there, i kind of laughed at that
http://www.unitedmedia.com/editoons/...5073236225.gif

0energy0 · 03-07-2005, 04:50 PM

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neverland Ranch.

The kids play with rides on Neverland ranch.

jhkayakr · 03-11-2005, 05:44 AM

Damn, I was hoping to get some Michael jokes

jhkayakr · 03-12-2005, 07:59 AM

Jay Leno can now tell Michael Jackson jokes according to a federal judge. He was under a gag order earlier and had guest comedians tell Jackson jokes for him.

SJS111567 · 04-16-2005, 07:23 PM

Yeah, isn't it ironic that Jay Leno can tell MJ jokes on broadcast television, where anyone who is flipping channels might accidently hear one of them and become offended, yet, you can come to and adults only forum, intentionally click on a link for Michael Jackson jokes, and be told they are forbidden?

That is the joke here. censorship of words from people who earn their money from porn.

I discovered this forum a few months back while i was in baghdad. I thought it was worth spending some time here and checked it out a few times when I was able to. Now that I'm home, I have plenty of time to check it out, but I'm sure hoping there isn't a whole lot more of this self-rightous hypocracy.

Strip Poker 388 · 04-16-2005, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jhkayakr

Jay Leno can now tell Michael Jackson jokes according to a federal judge. He was under a gag order earlier and had guest comedians tell Jackson jokes for him.

Thats fucking bull shit!! some of these sobs need to buy a since of humor , But if it was there son i guesss there due!!

Pay!

RoadRage · 06-03-2005, 06:55 PM

Jackson's defense team was going to have Stevie Wonder testify that he didn't see a thing.

Strip Poker 388 · 06-03-2005, 08:46 PM

Yea the little boy took a tube of Ben Gay and coated his bung hole and made Michaels wee wee burn . Michael is counter suing

Brewmaniac · 06-13-2005, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoadRage

Jackson's defense team was going to have Stevie Wonder testify that he didn't see a thing.

Best joke in entire thread! Biggest joke is Jackson himself!

-

Ishmal · 06-13-2005, 03:33 PM

NOT GUILTY???

whats this bull-shit about???

shakran · 06-13-2005, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ishmal

NOT GUILTY???

whats this bull-shit about???

A discredited star witness and you're surprised he was found not guilty?

After that, the prosecution's case came down to "but dude, he's WEIRD," and it's not illegal to be strange in this country.

Ishmal · 06-13-2005, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shakran

"but dude, he's WEIRD," and it's not illegal to be strange in this country

LOL. fair point.

but,

yer i was surprised...

i thought he'd get convicted of at least one offence...

Latch · 06-19-2005, 03:06 AM

I think they're OK now, since court action is done.. if not, fell free to delete...

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Target have in common?
A: They both have little boys pants half-off

Q: What do Micahel Jackson and McDonalds have in common?
A: They both like sticking their meat between little buns.

Q: What's the difference between a shopping bag and Micahel Jackson?
A: One's made of plastic and shouldn't be around children. The other's used to carry your groceries.

jhkayakr · 06-19-2005, 01:47 PM

OJ gets off for murder
Robert Blake gets off for murder
Michael Jackson gets off on child molestation charges
Martha Stewart gets convicted for lying.
WTF???????
Q: Whats 12 and gets Michael Jackson off?
A: A Jury

Johnny Pyro · 07-18-2005, 03:20 PM

I can't stand these pro Michael Jackson people. I wasn't shocked he was found not guilty. He's famous. They don't do wrong. OJ! Not guilty. Sometimes I get so mad when this country puts celebrities above the law.

fatmanforprez · 08-18-2005, 01:37 PM

like most of the confused people so far i also thought the thread was gonna be full of MJ jokes (cause on a side note i likewise belive that no joke should be restricted, especially with the dead baby jokes i tell being my polite ones), but to respond to the latest replies, this case like OJ is amazing cause they DIDNT put a celebrities above the law, they both had pisspoor cases against them that were outright slander in alot of factors and as is becomeing uncommon, the jury did its job. No evidence, No witnesses (that held any water), Plenty of reasonable doubt, you must aquit!

maskedrider · 09-13-2005, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny Pyro

I can't stand these pro Michael Jackson people. I wasn't shocked he was found not guilty. He's famous. They don't do wrong. OJ! Not guilty. Sometimes I get so mad when this country puts celebrities above the law.

I still can't get over the image of that lady releasing 10 white doves (each for the charges against MJ)

itch vaccine · 12-20-2005, 08:55 AM

eih, isn't this a joke thread -.-"

xrayvision2 · 12-20-2005, 10:25 AM

fuck michael jackson he's an idiot

zz0011 · 03-05-2006, 02:05 AM

Test your parenting skills here [flash]

Who would you be good friends with?

zz0011 · 03-06-2006, 04:11 AM

Not from "The Onion" -- from NY Daily News
Disturbing, to say the least

Quote:

His brother admits Jacko's 'thing for young children'
BY MICHELLE CARUSO
DAILY NEWS WEST COAST BUREAU CHIEF
Sunday, March 5th, 2006

LOS ANGELES - Jermaine Jackson feared his kid brother Michael might be guilty of child molestation, but backed him at trial because he thought the pop star would commit suicide in prison, according to a bombshell book proposal obtained by the Daily News.

In a tell-all outline shopped to publishers just weeks after Michael's arrest in November 2003, Jermaine described the Pop King as a sometimes out-of-control drug and booze abuser with a calculating mean streak and "a thing for young children."

The eight-page proposal for "Legacy: Surviving the Best and the Worst," lists Michael Jackson's preferred substances as Vicodin, Demerol, codeine, Percocet, cocaine, Jack Daniels and wine.

"Does he really know what he does with these kids?" Jermaine wondered.

"I don't want to tell you my brother's innocent. I am not certain that he is," Jermaine said in the tome-teaser drafted by author Stacy Brown, who co-authored "Michael Jackson: The Man Behind the Mask" with the singer's former publicist, Bob Jones.

But Jermaine's still-unpublished tale is the ultimate insider look at the troubled star.

He admits that the family has protected Jacko's image and says that Jackson also cheats, lies and even changed the color of his skin.

Even the pop star's behavior with his own nephews has left his family "shaken," according to Jermaine. He recounts the family coming together after the death of brother Tito's ex-wife in the mid 1990s and finding Michael sitting on a bed with Tito's young sons and holding them in a disturbing manner.

Jermaine also dished about the singer's bizarre behavior shortly before he surrendered to authorities to face charges in November 2003.

Holed up in a Las Vegas hotel room, Michael calmly watched a "Pinocchio" DVD with his three children in his lap, but he later flew into a rage, trashing the room and breaking every glass, lamp and dish in it.

The protective big brother vowed to help Michael beat the rap because "Michael couldn't survive one day in prison ... He'd commit suicide."

Other bombshell teasers in Jermaine's outline include:

- That during the Jackson 5 days, Michael's brothers feared he was gay. The brothers met lots of women while touring and all eventually fell in love. "But Michael, well, he wasn't interested. We used to quietly say that we couldn't have a gay brother."

- Michael hates Jews because he thinks Hollywood moguls Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen stole the idea for Dreamworks studio, including the boy-on-the moon logo, from him.

"But the Jews are the powerful ones and they have done a lot to put my brother in his place ... just another n-----."

- That a devious and calculating Michael squashed his brothers' solo musical careers.

But the family stood behind Michael despite pain, doubts and misgivings, unwilling to give up on "our little brother."

Hanxter · 09-08-2006, 08:36 AM

i just figured out why MJ left Neverland...

according to property documents it's over 15 years old

debaser · 09-27-2006, 02:21 PM

How do you know it's bed time at the Neverland ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand...

debaser · 12-04-2006, 08:02 PM

Why does Michael Jackson like twentyeight year olds?

Because there are twenty of them.

Sharon · 01-15-2007, 12:02 PM

Wow, that's a lot of ped jokes... are they now allowed or something?

The_Jazz · 06-30-2009, 10:27 AM

For the record, consider this ban repealed. It was BS anyway. I'd like to think that we've got more of a sense of humor now.

Still, though, no pics of kids and nothing overly creepy. If you see either, please report the post.

SSJTWIZTA · 07-06-2009, 02:46 AM

ahhh, the same jokes over and over and over and over.........

02-27-2005, 01:01 PM	#43 (permalink)
paulskinback Insane	What about jokes about his face or the fact that he thinks he is peter pan.... the man is a living joke __________________ 'Everything that can be invented has been invented.- - 1899, Charles Duell, U.S. Office of Patents. 'There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.' - Ken Olson, 1977, Digital Equipment Corporation

03-07-2005, 04:50 PM	#45 (permalink)
0energy0 Insane Location: Title Town, USA	What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neverland Ranch. The kids play with rides on Neverland ranch. __________________ Is the juice worth the squeeze?

03-11-2005, 05:44 AM	#46 (permalink)
jhkayakr Insane Location: under the skirt	Damn, I was hoping to get some Michael jokes __________________ ........gotta need for speed....

03-12-2005, 07:59 AM	#47 (permalink)
jhkayakr Insane Location: under the skirt	Jay Leno can now tell Michael Jackson jokes according to a federal judge. He was under a gag order earlier and had guest comedians tell Jackson jokes for him. __________________ ........gotta need for speed....

04-16-2005, 07:23 PM	#48 (permalink)
SJS111567 Upright	Yeah, isn't it ironic that Jay Leno can tell MJ jokes on broadcast television, where anyone who is flipping channels might accidently hear one of them and become offended, yet, you can come to and adults only forum, intentionally click on a link for Michael Jackson jokes, and be told they are forbidden? That is the joke here. censorship of words from people who earn their money from porn. I discovered this forum a few months back while i was in baghdad. I thought it was worth spending some time here and checked it out a few times when I was able to. Now that I'm home, I have plenty of time to check it out, but I'm sure hoping there isn't a whole lot more of this self-rightous hypocracy. __________________ Gun Control - The difference between Lexington Green and Tianemen Square.

02-15-2005, 12:57 PM	#41 (permalink)
trickyy ►	a link from newsweek/MSN/AJC, entities not affiliated with this board or poster. http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Se...hd.hmedium.jpg

02-22-2005, 04:29 PM	#42 (permalink)
flick Upright Location: Detroit, Michigan	Hehe. The funniest joke about this thread is that I couldn't find a joke. It is inherently funny that a joke thread is so serious. :OD

03-05-2005, 12:13 AM	#44 (permalink)
trickyy ►	hey watch it there, i kind of laughed at that http://www.unitedmedia.com/editoons/...5073236225.gif

06-03-2005, 06:55 PM	#50 (permalink)
RoadRage Stay off the sidewalk! Location: Oklahoma City, OK	Jackson's defense team was going to have Stevie Wonder testify that he didn't see a thing. __________________ Join TFP Team SETI 43K workunits complete, 34 members, more of each needed.

06-03-2005, 08:46 PM	#51 (permalink)
Strip Poker 388 Upright Location: Jackson,Mississippi	Yea the little boy took a tube of Ben Gay and coated his bung hole and made Michaels wee wee burn . Michael is counter suing

06-13-2005, 03:33 PM	#53 (permalink)
Ishmal Wicked Clown Location: House Of Horrors	NOT GUILTY??? whats this bull-shit about??? __________________ "Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular."

06-19-2005, 03:06 AM	#56 (permalink)
Latch In Your Dreams Location: City of Lights	I think they're OK now, since court action is done.. if not, fell free to delete... Q: What do Michael Jackson and Target have in common? A: They both have little boys pants half-off Q: What do Micahel Jackson and McDonalds have in common? A: They both like sticking their meat between little buns. Q: What's the difference between a shopping bag and Micahel Jackson? A: One's made of plastic and shouldn't be around children. The other's used to carry your groceries.

06-19-2005, 01:47 PM	#57 (permalink)
jhkayakr Insane Location: under the skirt	OJ gets off for murder Robert Blake gets off for murder Michael Jackson gets off on child molestation charges Martha Stewart gets convicted for lying. WTF??????? Q: Whats 12 and gets Michael Jackson off? A: A Jury __________________ ........gotta need for speed....

07-18-2005, 03:20 PM	#58 (permalink)
Johnny Pyro Hey Now! Location: Massachusetts (Redneck, white boy town. I hate it here.)	I can't stand these pro Michael Jackson people. I wasn't shocked he was found not guilty. He's famous. They don't do wrong. OJ! Not guilty. Sometimes I get so mad when this country puts celebrities above the law. __________________ "From delusion lead me to truth, from darkness lead me to light, from death lead me to eternal life. - Sheriff John Wydell

08-18-2005, 01:37 PM	#59 (permalink)
fatmanforprez Tilted	like most of the confused people so far i also thought the thread was gonna be full of MJ jokes (cause on a side note i likewise belive that no joke should be restricted, especially with the dead baby jokes i tell being my polite ones), but to respond to the latest replies, this case like OJ is amazing cause they DIDNT put a celebrities above the law, they both had pisspoor cases against them that were outright slander in alot of factors and as is becomeing uncommon, the jury did its job. No evidence, No witnesses (that held any water), Plenty of reasonable doubt, you must aquit!

12-20-2005, 08:55 AM	#61 (permalink)
itch vaccine Psycho Location: on my spinning computer chair	eih, isn't this a joke thread -.-" __________________ "When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein

03-05-2006, 02:05 AM	#63 (permalink)
zz0011 Crazy Location: buckle of the snow belt	Well, how about this... Test your parenting skills here [flash] Who would you be good friends with? __________________ 10th sig ~> "How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms?" -- Aristotle

12-20-2005, 10:25 AM	#62 (permalink)
xrayvision2 Upright	fuck michael jackson he's an idiot

09-08-2006, 08:36 AM	#65 (permalink)
Hanxter The Griffin	i just figured out why MJ left Neverland... according to property documents it's over 15 years old

09-27-2006, 02:21 PM	#66 (permalink)
debaser Sir, I have a plan... Location: 38S NC20943324	How do you know it's bed time at the Neverland ranch? When the big hand touches the little hand... __________________ Fortunato became immured to the sound of the trowel after a while.

12-04-2006, 08:02 PM	#67 (permalink)
debaser Sir, I have a plan... Location: 38S NC20943324	Why does Michael Jackson like twentyeight year olds? Because there are twenty of them. __________________ Fortunato became immured to the sound of the trowel after a while.

01-15-2007, 12:02 PM	#68 (permalink)
Sharon Coy, sultry and... naughty! Location: Across the way	Wow, that's a lot of ped jokes... are they now allowed or something?

06-30-2009, 10:27 AM	#69 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	For the record, consider this ban repealed. It was BS anyway. I'd like to think that we've got more of a sense of humor now. Still, though, no pics of kids and nothing overly creepy. If you see either, please report the post. __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

07-06-2009, 02:46 AM	#70 (permalink)
SSJTWIZTA Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator. Location: Windiwana	ahhh, the same jokes over and over and over and over......... __________________ First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me. -Pastor Martin Niemoller