cchris

Announcements from actual church bulletins.

Funny stuff.

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Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.

Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.


8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some of the older ones.

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There's a fine line between participation and mockery

TM875

Makes you wonder if anybody ever reads anything out loud...

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"I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."

bond007

funny stuff!

saut

Helloooo misplaced modifier city!

Kllr Wolf

got to love the way words are interpeted when the writer knows what they want to say and it dont come out that way.

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Caffeine - the molecule of life.

Homey_V

Hehehe...
More proof that proof reading is neccesary no matter what you're doing :P

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You did what with a duck?

CinnamonGirl

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

duckduck

This reminds me to go check my final essay to avoid such emarassments,

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Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!

Gortexfogg

Oh man, that's funny stuff!

pocon1

This one had me laughing out loud:

"This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. "

KellyC

My thoughts exactly.

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Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

tkkfan

I think it is written exactly as the thought comes out of their mouth, not giving any time to think about what they are really saying.

either that or they are illiterate

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I can't believe I ate the whole thing!

fernweh

From a church near my house:

THIS WEEK'S SERMON: WHAT IS HELL LIKE?

COME IN AND HEAR OUR CHOIR!

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f-e-r-n-w-e-h is actually a gross misspelling of the name "gregory"