jim and the gorgeous girl - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

pazza · 05-05-2003, 04:32 AM

I dunno, whenever i hear this joke i crack up

A guy walks into a pub and sees his mate Jim slumped over the bar. He walks up and asks him: "Whats the matter?" Jim looks up dolefully and says: "Hey Bob, Well you know that really gorgeous girl at my work, with the great chest, gorgeous bum and fantastic legs? You remember I mentioned that without fail I get an erection when I see her." "Yeah I remember" says his friend. "Well I finally got the nerve to ask her out." says Jim. Bob raises an eyebrow: "That's great! What did she say?" "Well she said "Yes!" I have just come back from seeing her" his mate says bitterly. "Well how did it go?" asks Bob, a little confused. "Well I thought ahead, and not wanting to draw immediate attention to my attaction to her I decided to tape my old fella to my leg. It wasn't too uncomfortable and when I went to pick her up she looked amazing - wearing the shortest dress I have ever seen, breasts about to pop out. She looked fantastic!" "So why're you drinking yourself into oblivion down here? What the hell went wrong?" asked Bob. Jim replied: "I kicked her in the face."

crewsor · 05-05-2003, 04:57 AM

Thats great. I havn't heard that one.

cchris · 05-05-2003, 05:08 AM

Excellent joke

jmf1234 · 05-05-2003, 06:25 AM

What a great joke. thanks for the laugh

forgotten_dream · 05-05-2003, 10:39 AM

*L* I've heard that one before, but it still makes me laugh....

Darklight Adept · 05-05-2003, 11:35 AM

bwah! that's great!

Eviltree · 05-05-2003, 12:02 PM

that was hillarious.

Silverbrain · 05-05-2003, 12:46 PM

Nice one.

Sparky · 05-05-2003, 01:10 PM

Never heard that one before, good one.

vevaphon · 05-05-2003, 02:34 PM

oh god, i had a co-worker come in to my cube to find out why i was laughing.

good thing she didn't see the joke.

riptide4070 · 05-05-2003, 05:02 PM

LOL...not all these jokes get that kind of response

gloveshot3 · 05-05-2003, 05:35 PM

aww to be that young again, today i'd only hit her knee-cap

Hycdubg · 05-06-2003, 07:31 AM

Haha! great joke, but....no pic?

Blazin · 05-06-2003, 07:45 AM

hahaha, thats hilarious!

GSRIDER · 05-06-2003, 09:16 AM

Great Joke

now for a serios question....
was that joke of English origin? It sounds like british humor for some reason

warrrreagl · 05-06-2003, 09:48 AM

A new one for me, and already a classic.

prb · 05-06-2003, 11:37 AM

First joke in a while that made me laugh out loud when I read it.

05-05-2003, 04:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
pazza Insane Location: Australia	jim and the gorgeous girl I dunno, whenever i hear this joke i crack up A guy walks into a pub and sees his mate Jim slumped over the bar. He walks up and asks him: "Whats the matter?" Jim looks up dolefully and says: "Hey Bob, Well you know that really gorgeous girl at my work, with the great chest, gorgeous bum and fantastic legs? You remember I mentioned that without fail I get an erection when I see her." "Yeah I remember" says his friend. "Well I finally got the nerve to ask her out." says Jim. Bob raises an eyebrow: "That's great! What did she say?" "Well she said "Yes!" I have just come back from seeing her" his mate says bitterly. "Well how did it go?" asks Bob, a little confused. "Well I thought ahead, and not wanting to draw immediate attention to my attaction to her I decided to tape my old fella to my leg. It wasn't too uncomfortable and when I went to pick her up she looked amazing - wearing the shortest dress I have ever seen, breasts about to pop out. She looked fantastic!" "So why're you drinking yourself into oblivion down here? What the hell went wrong?" asked Bob. Jim replied: "I kicked her in the face." __________________ The above thoughts are not necessarily the thoughts of this user.

05-05-2003, 04:57 AM	#2 (permalink)
crewsor Women want me. Men fear me. Location: Maryland,USA	Thats great. I havn't heard that one. __________________ We all have wings, some of us just don't know why.

05-05-2003, 05:08 AM	#3 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Excellent joke __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

05-05-2003, 06:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
jmf1234 Insane Location: Steel City ( the 'Burgh)	What a great joke. thanks for the laugh __________________ Let's go Pitt, we're set for victory Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. -- Charles Pierce

05-05-2003, 10:39 AM	#5 (permalink)
forgotten_dream Psycho	L I've heard that one before, but it still makes me laugh.... __________________ "A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone."

05-05-2003, 11:35 AM	#6 (permalink)
Darklight Adept Crazy Location: Houston, Tx	bwah! that's great!

05-05-2003, 12:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
Eviltree Psycho Location: British Columbia	that was hillarious.

05-05-2003, 12:46 PM	#8 (permalink)
Silverbrain Addict Location: Nor Cal	Nice one. __________________ Over Thinking, Over Analyzing Seperates the Body from the Mind - MJK

05-05-2003, 01:10 PM	#9 (permalink)
Sparky Crazy	Never heard that one before, good one. __________________ "I had never really thought about it before," Det. Dern said. "But obviously, giving an elephant an enema can be a very dangerous activity and not something that should be attempted alone."

05-05-2003, 02:34 PM	#10 (permalink)
vevaphon Insane Location: Ass end of Nowhere	oh god, i had a co-worker come in to my cube to find out why i was laughing. good thing she didn't see the joke. __________________ "Faster. And faster still. Until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." --- DKM

05-05-2003, 05:02 PM	#11 (permalink)
riptide4070 Addict Location: Boone, NC	LOL...not all these jokes get that kind of response __________________ "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was making the world believe he didn't exist" -Kevin Spacey 'The Usual Suspects'

05-05-2003, 05:35 PM	#12 (permalink)
gloveshot3 Crazy	aww to be that young again, today i'd only hit her knee-cap

05-06-2003, 07:31 AM	#13 (permalink)
Hycdubg Insane Location: Up my ass	Haha! great joke, but....no pic? __________________ Alice, that dog has been licking his own asshole for three hours. I would venture to say that there is nothing there that requires more than an hour's attention. So I would suggest that whatever he's attempting to dislodge is either gone for good....or there to stay. -The Long Kiss Goodnight_

05-06-2003, 07:45 AM	#14 (permalink)
Blazin Upright	hahaha, thats hilarious!

05-06-2003, 09:16 AM	#15 (permalink)
GSRIDER spurt king Location: Out of my mind	Great Joke now for a serios question.... was that joke of English origin? It sounds like british humor for some reason __________________ No signature at this time.

05-06-2003, 09:48 AM	#16 (permalink)
warrrreagl pinche vato Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton	A new one for me, and already a classic. __________________ Living is easy with eyes closed.

05-06-2003, 11:37 AM	#17 (permalink)
prb Psycho	First joke in a while that made me laugh out loud when I read it.