fuzyfuzer

hope this isn't a repeat couldn't find it in a search

How to speak about women ... and be politically correct:

- She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

- She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

- She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

- She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

- She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

- She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

- She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She

causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

- She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.

- She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

- She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

- She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

- She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

- She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

- She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

- She is not a S_UT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

- She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

- She is not a TWO BIT WH_RE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

How to speak about men ... and be politically correct:

- He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE SYSTEM.

- He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

- He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS

- He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

- He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

- He does not act like a TOTAL ARSE - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

- He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.

- He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

- He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

- He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC MOMENT.

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"The difference between commiment and involvment is like a ham and egg breakfast the chicken was involved but the pig was commited"

"Thrice happy is the nation that has a glorious history. Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt

Dilbert1234567

those are great, thanks

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Donate Blood!

"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

skier

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED

my favorite. Thanks man!

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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

Kllr Wolf

man that is so great. Of course you use those as replacements could actually be worse.

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Caffeine - the molecule of life.

FoolThemAll

I've seen this once before. It's great. I love OVERLY CAUCASIAN and HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

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I wonder if we're stuck in Rome.

sillygirl

Heeheehee..... *devilish grin*

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Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...

bond007

I like it!

Silvy

Very nice, thanx!

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"Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace. "
- Murphy MacManus (Boondock Saints)

Speed_Gibson

I usually f'ing hate PC talk, but those are all hilarious spins on old phrases

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Started talking to yourself I see.
Yes, it's the only way I can be certain of an intelligent conversation.

Black Adder

Sensei

That's fabulous. I feel like I've seen that before but I still laughed when I read it so it's all good.

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Slacking off with style since 1981.

Golgothas

- He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

Hilarious.

blaze

Hahaha I love the Bad Dancer one too.

Rangsk

Some great gems in this one.

My favorite is the liquid grain storage unit.

Reminds me of my roomate: "I have a 6-pack... you just can't see it under my flab!"

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"Don't believe everything you read on the internet. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose." -- Douglas Adams

fizzledorf

nice ones, gave me a chuckle or three

Untitled

lol, great lines

^^ My boyfriend to a T

Homey_V

hehehehe, Im gonna use that line later on

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You did what with a duck?

bond007

I do love those Pectorially Superior women!!!