"Don't Miss The Amazing Texan." - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 05-05-2003, 07:06 PM

A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading: "Don't Miss The Amazing Texan." Curious, he buys a ticket. The tent goes dark.

Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There, spot lit in the center ring is a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it is an old retired cowboy. Suddenly the old man unzips his pants, whips out a huge penis and smashes all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupts in applause as the elderly Texan is carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.

Ten years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees a faded sign for the same circus and the same: "Don't Miss the Amazing Texan." He can't believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his act! So he buys a ticket.

Again, the center ring is illuminated. This time, instead of walnuts, three coconuts are placed on the table. The Texan stands before them, then suddenly unzips his fly and smashes the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.

The crowd goes wild! Flabbergasted, the salesman requests a meeting with him after the show.

"You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?"

"Well,' says the Texan: "My eyes aren't what they used to be.

Glad

mpedrummer2 · 05-05-2003, 11:08 PM

Good...very good.

mirevolver · 05-05-2003, 11:40 PM

good one

zaiaz · 05-06-2003, 06:13 AM

ROFLMAO Now thats funny!!!!!

Tarn · 05-06-2003, 04:27 PM

hahhahahahahahhahah !!!!

TerresqueÜ · 05-06-2003, 06:10 PM

Good one! Very new to me too.

cchris · 05-06-2003, 06:36 PM

Ahhhh thats the funniest thing in ages

SirLance · 05-06-2003, 06:47 PM

Very good! NEver heard that one before!

MikeyChalupa · 05-06-2003, 06:53 PM

Those wacky Texans...

-Mikey

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 05-07-2003, 01:11 PM

That Texan's got skills! I could just imagine what he cracked when he was younger. Anvils?!!

glad

Gnzo · 05-07-2003, 03:34 PM

That's great!

duckduck · 05-10-2003, 08:47 PM

That's actually really funny! Slapping the meat just took on a whole new meaning.

05-05-2003, 07:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
Glad-I-Ate-Her Junkie Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero	"Don't Miss The Amazing Texan." A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading: "Don't Miss The Amazing Texan." Curious, he buys a ticket. The tent goes dark. Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There, spot lit in the center ring is a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it is an old retired cowboy. Suddenly the old man unzips his pants, whips out a huge penis and smashes all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupts in applause as the elderly Texan is carried off on the shoulders of the crowd. Ten years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees a faded sign for the same circus and the same: "Don't Miss the Amazing Texan." He can't believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his act! So he buys a ticket. Again, the center ring is illuminated. This time, instead of walnuts, three coconuts are placed on the table. The Texan stands before them, then suddenly unzips his fly and smashes the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member. The crowd goes wild! Flabbergasted, the salesman requests a meeting with him after the show. "You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?" "Well,' says the Texan: "My eyes aren't what they used to be. Glad __________________ I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!

05-05-2003, 11:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
mpedrummer2 Insane	Good...very good. __________________ My sig can beat up your honor student.

05-05-2003, 11:40 PM	#3 (permalink)
mirevolver Inspired by the mind's eye. Location: Between the darkness and the light.	good one __________________ Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions.

05-06-2003, 06:13 AM	#4 (permalink)
zaiaz Psycho Location: State of confusion...wait that's medication.	ROFLMAO Now thats funny!!!!! __________________ Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...

05-06-2003, 06:10 PM	#6 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	Good one! Very new to me too. __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

05-06-2003, 04:27 PM	#5 (permalink)
Tarn Crazy	hahhahahahahahhahah !!!!

05-06-2003, 06:36 PM	#7 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Ahhhh thats the funniest thing in ages __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

05-06-2003, 06:47 PM	#8 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Very good! NEver heard that one before! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

05-06-2003, 06:53 PM	#9 (permalink)
MikeyChalupa Squid Location: USS George Washington	Those wacky Texans... -Mikey

05-07-2003, 01:11 PM	#10 (permalink)
Glad-I-Ate-Her Junkie Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero	That Texan's got skills! I could just imagine what he cracked when he was younger. Anvils?!! glad __________________ I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!

05-07-2003, 03:34 PM	#11 (permalink)
Gnzo Insane	That's great!

05-10-2003, 08:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
duckduck Psycho Location: Where hockey pucks run rampant	That's actually really funny! Slapping the meat just took on a whole new meaning. __________________ Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!