Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-25-2004, 01:20 PM   #1 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero
Navy had too many officers.

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his out stretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied "from the tip of my penis to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received.

But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to "drop 'em", which he did.

The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the
Captain's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The Captain calmly replied "Vietnam."


Glad
__________________
I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!
Glad-I-Ate-Her is offline  
Old 03-25-2004, 02:13 PM   #2 (permalink)
Misanthropic
 
Crack's Avatar
 
Location: Ohio! yay!
And he recieved one billion dollars...

and all the thanks and spittle of a greatful nation...
__________________
Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex.

~Halx
Crack is offline  
Old 03-29-2004, 02:22 AM   #3 (permalink)
Upright
 
bahula04 is offline  
Old 03-29-2004, 02:01 PM   #4 (permalink)
Newlywed
 
sillygirl's Avatar
 
Location: at home
hahahahaha. that was awesome. What a thinker.
__________________

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken
....absence makes me miss him more...
sillygirl is offline  
Old 03-29-2004, 03:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: with Rubyee
very funny with a bit of a sad punchline
__________________
The rug
it really tied the room together
Traff is offline  
Old 03-29-2004, 11:41 PM   #6 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: San Francisco
Great. My dad (Vietnam vet) is going to love it!
gfandy is offline  
 

Tags
navy, officers


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:44 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54