Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - Rules for entering Oklahoma

The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter Okla..
Learn 'em & remember 'em.

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road". I drive a pickup
truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are pigs, cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you.
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes
east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar air conditioned tractors that we drive 3
weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we
WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it
up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawdads. You really want sushi & caviar?
It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless
of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak.
Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds
of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and
Pace Piquant Sauce.

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, served
over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute,
know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks
the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Okla. They come outta there with an education plus
a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups
when they come for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than
any other state, so "Don't Mess with Okla." If you do, it will get
your butt kicked by the best.

17. Always remember what our great governor E.W. Marland once said:
"Okla can make it without the United States, but the United States
can't make it without Okla!"
GOD BLESS OKLA !!!