tuffrr

Hi, my name is Billy Evans, and I'm a nine-year-old boy.

My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body.

It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe.


The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a Hessian bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money.


Mummy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mummy," and she hugged my Hessian bag. Mummy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to Hessian and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.


I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this e-mail to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors.


The doctors could help me get better then.


Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.


Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me.

Mummy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.
If you don't forward this e-mail, that's okay.


Mummy says you're a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin' minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?


Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty.
I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my Hessian body.


I wish that very much.
Thank you.

Little Billy..

MooseMan3000

You know what's funny?

I was ACTUALLY forwarded that letter once. The person wasn't joking.

She was immediately removed from my address book.

Eviltree

hah, I've seen it before, but always get a kick out of it.

tuffrr

Yeah, i think its been around for a while but its still piss funny!

mystmarimatt

Hahahahaha...if this were true...i'd feel so horrible...but i'd laugh at the cat shitting on him...

__________________
Words of Wisdom:

If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.