Paratrooper joke - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

platypus · 05-02-2003, 10:50 AM

A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he phoned his father to tell him the news.

"So, did you jump?" the father asked.

"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the Sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"

"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.

"Um, not yet. Then the Sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."

"Did you jump then?" asked the father.

"I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane.

I told the Sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told be to get off the plane or he'd kick my ass."

"So, did you jump?"

"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, 'Boy, are you going to jump or not?' I said, 'No, Sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his pants and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out of that door, or I'm sticking this up your ass.' "

"So, did you jump?" asked the father.

"Well, a little, at first."

manias · 05-02-2003, 11:36 AM

Lol nice one!

opentocomments · 05-02-2003, 12:42 PM

i thought he didnt want to jump?

zaiaz · 05-02-2003, 01:13 PM

OOwwwww....man that hurts just thinking about it. Funny post.

GreenCloud · 05-02-2003, 08:37 PM

hmm... apparently this boy missed the "don't ask, don't tell" part of training

....

Empty_One · 05-02-2003, 09:18 PM

hahaha, nice one.

CaptainSpeedy · 05-03-2003, 07:10 AM

funny - need to show that to my para friend!

oxymorphone · 05-03-2003, 12:57 PM

That's hilarious

Destrox · 05-03-2003, 01:08 PM

lol, thats fricken great

that'll make a good group joke

Eviltree · 05-03-2003, 03:41 PM

that poor bastard.

Chuckles · 10-25-2003, 10:26 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh man that one is fuckin hilarious :P Thanks!!!

sailor · 10-26-2003, 07:22 AM

Yikes. Thats rough.

krwlz · 10-26-2003, 09:35 PM

Thats awesome....I havnt laughed that hard in a looooong time!

majik_6 · 10-26-2003, 09:44 PM

This one always makes me laugh...right before the mental image really sets in, and I wince. Funny, if not a little disturbing!

iktoweya · 10-28-2003, 03:30 PM

BAD!! that was bad and for some reason i find myself laughing

bennyb · 10-28-2003, 03:55 PM

big penis jokes are funny.

Tiger69z · 10-28-2003, 04:56 PM

That's just sick.....:P

weasel519 · 10-29-2003, 12:42 PM

Oh man thats funny!

05-02-2003, 10:50 AM	#1 (permalink)
platypus Essen meine kurze Hosen Location: NY Burbs	Paratrooper joke A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he phoned his father to tell him the news. "So, did you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the Sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!" "Is that when you jumped?" asked the father. "Um, not yet. Then the Sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door." "Did you jump then?" asked the father. "I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the Sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told be to get off the plane or he'd kick my ass." "So, did you jump?" "Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, 'Boy, are you going to jump or not?' I said, 'No, Sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his pants and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out of that door, or I'm sticking this up your ass.' " "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first." __________________ Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

05-02-2003, 12:42 PM	#3 (permalink)
opentocomments Psycho Location: St. Louis	i thought he didnt want to jump? __________________ How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all color-blind?

05-02-2003, 01:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
zaiaz Psycho Location: State of confusion...wait that's medication.	OOwwwww....man that hurts just thinking about it. Funny post. __________________ Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...

05-02-2003, 08:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
GreenCloud Insane Location: Boone, NC	hmm... apparently this boy missed the "don't ask, don't tell" part of training.... __________________ "Boy, I like that echo... goes right through my head... I had that happen once, but it was chemically induced...." - Steve Earle

05-03-2003, 01:08 PM	#9 (permalink)
Destrox Metal and Rock 4 Life Location: Phoenix	lol, thats fricken great that'll make a good group joke __________________ You bore me.... next.

05-02-2003, 11:36 AM	#2 (permalink)
manias Tilted Location: Canada	Lol nice one!

05-02-2003, 09:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
Empty_One Addict Location: Milwaukee, WI	hahaha, nice one.

05-03-2003, 07:10 AM	#7 (permalink)
CaptainSpeedy Insane	funny - need to show that to my para friend!

05-03-2003, 12:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
oxymorphone Upright Location: under a rock	That's hilarious

05-03-2003, 03:41 PM	#10 (permalink)
Eviltree Psycho Location: British Columbia	that poor bastard.

10-25-2003, 10:26 PM	#11 (permalink)
Chuckles Insane Location: California	HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh man that one is fuckin hilarious :P Thanks!!!

10-26-2003, 07:22 AM	#12 (permalink)
sailor beauty in the breakdown Location: Chapel Hill, NC	Yikes. Thats rough. __________________ "Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." --Plato

10-26-2003, 09:35 PM	#13 (permalink)
krwlz Fledgling Dead Head Location: Clarkson U.	Thats awesome....I havnt laughed that hard in a looooong time!

10-26-2003, 09:44 PM	#14 (permalink)
majik_6 narcissist Location: looking in a mirror	This one always makes me laugh...right before the mental image really sets in, and I wince. Funny, if not a little disturbing! __________________ it's all about self-indulgence Last edited by majik_6; 10-26-2003 at 09:59 PM..

10-28-2003, 03:30 PM	#15 (permalink)
iktoweya These pretzels are making me thirsty!! Location: 105B	BAD!! that was bad and for some reason i find myself laughing __________________ i miss K-Wise

10-28-2003, 04:56 PM	#17 (permalink)
Tiger69z Banned Location: Sunny S.FLA	That's just sick.....:P

10-28-2003, 03:55 PM	#16 (permalink)
bennyb Banned	big penis jokes are funny.

10-29-2003, 12:42 PM	#18 (permalink)
weasel519 Upright	Oh man thats funny!