aphex140

Laughed so much doing the first post had to include this one

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.


4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator.
6) Everyone reading this who didn't grow up in the 80's will have just
typed 55378008 into a calculator, some might have turned it upside down.


7) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
8) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
9) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.>
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your
teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their
arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an
upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a
fruit salad

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Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila.

[/QUOTE=BAMF]Do they role a die, with a 1/3 chance of being flacid?[/QUOTE]

Latch

Hilarious. I liked this one more than the other one..

That's happened to me before.. I HATE that hehe.

Mavric98

I do that all the time.

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"Hope is for people that don't stand a chance."

mr_mcrafe

I can't say I have, but I will now.

fizzledorf

pretty good, and fairly universal, though the smell of a wet cat just plain stinks...

Gortexfogg

Hilarious stuff! So many of those are true...

mb99usa

Very good and very true.

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So, what's your point?

It's not an attitude, it's a way of life.

bluearmy

Peter Kay is rapidly becoming a comedy legend.

Shades

I don't understand this one:

aphex140

folk lore has it that swan can break your arm with the strength in their wings.

WOuld not like to try and prove - disprove that one.

__________________
Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila.

[/QUOTE=BAMF]Do they role a die, with a 1/3 chance of being flacid?[/QUOTE]

pta200

Awsome!

smooth_4

ha ha

"The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity."

that's awesome.

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It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

-Aristotle

Monre

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something.



Oh god yes.

streak_56

LMFAO.... its all funny... most of it has happened to me. Which is very scary.

uffjohn

hahaha lovely list

hawkeye

good stuff, thanks

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You're not fat,
You're just a giant ball
of love, covered in anger.

Munku

Called my mom my teachers name before..

telekinetic

...awesome...

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twisted no more

CinnamonGirl

They really, really do. Great list.

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Parkhurst

I believe Peter Kay is guesting in Coronation Street (a soap opera) sometime this very week.

'Garlic bread? Garlic......bread?'

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The unexamined life is not worth living.

indiretto

What makes that so funny is that a lot of that stuff has happened to me, and I can relate with it.

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Happy Tree Friends... It’s more fun than a stick.

monody

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.

guilty!

great list =)

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Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to explain the curious attractiveness of others.
-Oscar Wilde.

Lokus

Oh man, that list is hilarious, I can identify with most of them.

I race against the flush occasionally but when I visit a new toilet, I always have to do it.

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The black wind howls...

i_am_not_worthy

That is great!

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It is not a mistake, but an experience.

bt8624

Sweet!

aphex140

still love it so will rate it

__________________
Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila.

[/QUOTE=BAMF]Do they role a die, with a 1/3 chance of being flacid?[/QUOTE]

Warf Rat

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

True.

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A day late, and a dollar short.

xim

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

i did this in forth grade

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If I could be anyone in the world I would be Britney Spears. Shes in so many commercials about pepsi... www.ximcity.com

small one

Laughed till tears ran down my legs

Fearless_Hyena

that was funny, most of those do seem true. thanks for posting

User Name

I use a mechanical pencil. Does that make me effeminate .

asudevil83

no shit....and along with the panic comes the thought "how am i going to explain this one?" or "i hope to god that we wont have to call the paramedics for this."

Bobdoler

i think the panic of having something stuck in your throat is probably one of the worst panic inducing moments possible;p

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woot