Dano069

Hello, my name is Amber and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding
50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me
by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-
year--old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to
raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell
her to a traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and
everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?

How stupid are you?

"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll
get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"

Bullsh*t!

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was
started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims
on the Mayflower.

Screw 'em.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
amusing.

I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this
poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some omniscient being.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out these forwards.
Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant
for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll
receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know.

Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and
will consume your genitals

Have a nice day!

__________________
I may look attentive, but I'm taking peeks down your blouse faster than the human eye can follow.

The_Dude

i AM gonna forward that one

__________________
"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrel K Royal

feelgood

Same here...the girl thinks like I do...








But I'm still waiting for my goddamn model!

__________________
Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war

scansinboy

Here's one in a similar vein that was going around a long time ago. Don't know the source, but enjoy nonetheless...

**Please Help Little Billy Evans**

My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy.
My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick.

I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe.The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves.
The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad. I hope you will help me.
You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.

Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.
If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever in hell.

What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin' minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?
Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty.
I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.
Thank You,
Billy "Smiley" Evans

__________________
Don't blame me... *I* voted for Kodos!

rockogre

WAIT!

WHAT?

My underwear can turn carnivorous???

__________________
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

triad

haha, yeaaaa

If someone sends me an e-mail or im chain crap, that says i need to foward it 10 times, i send it back to the exact same person, 10 times, and once more for good luck...

Jadey

That was great. One time I got one of those at work and forwarded it to 2 people and said "look at this bullshit I always get from her. I'm sick of all the junk this bitch sends to me" Then one of those people forwarded it to 10 more people at work. Finally it made it way back to the bitch that sent it to me, only with my remarks in it. Sufficed to say, I don't get those from her anymore.

fizzledorf

finally! something worth forwarding!