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Glad-I-Ate-Her 12-07-2003 06:27 PM

Christmas Groaners...
 
A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols. He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing.

The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot. Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night."

The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way."

The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him. The husband rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately. He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special talent. Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night." He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells."

The wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead. Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the bird begins to sing........ "Chet's Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining", he said to his wife. "No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said".

Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them.

"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing".

As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course", he replied, and walked on.

But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!", to which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear"

Glad

KellyC 12-08-2003 01:59 AM

no groaning here..I like it!!

aphex140 12-08-2003 02:39 AM

lol

good love the parrot joke. def on the xmas mailings

Gortexfogg 12-08-2003 05:57 AM

Funny stuff!

Starfish 12-08-2003 10:13 AM

the parrot joke was good. :)

zf0enix 12-14-2003 08:55 AM

Very funny!! But, do birds have nuts?

bravo49 12-16-2003 01:37 AM

Now I know what the bottom of the barrel looks like

edmos1 12-17-2003 02:56 PM

like the first one, groan on the second, but still funny

TerresqueÜ 12-17-2003 05:59 PM

*Angry smile at the russian joke*


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