Signing in Bed - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

rmarshall · 12-03-2003, 02:32 PM

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights (because they can't see each other using sign language, natch).

After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife proposes a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals?

For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea! Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time." "And if you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis......fifty times"

microdot · 12-03-2003, 02:36 PM

I guess I should marry a deaf girl, huh?

This could also work if you have a light sleeper in the house

Dilbert1234567 · 12-03-2003, 05:32 PM

SabrinaFair · 12-03-2003, 07:44 PM

I've heard something similar...pretty funny stuff.

12-04-2003, 01:29 AM

And if you have a headache put it in your mouth - what, you don't have a headache? Well how bout we have sex.

bravo49 · 12-04-2003, 02:32 AM

Very good

In the bath:- "It's mine and I'll wash it as fast as I like"

mjby2 · 12-04-2003, 04:57 AM

unexpected

Gortexfogg · 12-04-2003, 06:21 AM

Funny stuff

fizzledorf · 12-04-2003, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bravo49
In the bath:- "It's mine and I'll wash it as fast as I like" [/B]

nice

Evil Milkman · 12-04-2003, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bravo49

In the bath:- "It's mine and I'll wash it as fast as I like"

Both jokes are hilarious!

someoneelse · 12-04-2003, 12:14 PM

haha!!~!!
50 times!??

a_divine_martyr · 12-04-2003, 12:27 PM

Yes, 50!

And I like that bath one, too!

brad-va · 12-04-2003, 05:08 PM

haha.. I'll share that at work tomorrow.

Eviltree · 12-05-2003, 08:14 PM

hah, I wonder how long that would last.

MexicanOnABike · 12-05-2003, 08:48 PM

hehehe.... id need more than 50... .200? 300?

Keg-o-Grog · 12-06-2003, 05:29 PM

hehehe

Bobdoler · 12-06-2003, 10:09 PM

heh, thats pretty good

GremlinDelirium · 12-07-2003, 02:21 AM

lol... is 50 enough times though?

bluearmy · 12-07-2003, 04:08 AM

Top humour that one is going round work.

thedrake · 12-08-2003, 12:09 PM

12-03-2003, 02:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
rmarshall Addict Location: Kingston,Ontario	Signing in Bed Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights (because they can't see each other using sign language, natch). After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife proposes a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time." The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea! Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time." "And if you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis......fifty times"

12-03-2003, 05:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
Dilbert1234567 Devils Cabana Boy Location: Central Coast CA	hehe __________________ Donate Blood! "Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

12-03-2003, 07:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
SabrinaFair Junkie Location: Louisville, KY	I've heard something similar...pretty funny stuff. __________________ "With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -Desiderata

12-04-2003, 12:14 PM	#11 (permalink)
someoneelse Insane	haha!!~!! 50 times!?? __________________ someone else....?

12-04-2003, 12:27 PM	#12 (permalink)
a_divine_martyr Insane	Yes, 50! And I like that bath one, too! __________________ Censorship and thought control can only exist in secrecy and darkness...

12-03-2003, 02:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
microdot Crazy	I guess I should marry a deaf girl, huh? This could also work if you have a light sleeper in the house

12-04-2003, 01:29 AM	#5 (permalink)
Strobs Guest	And if you have a headache put it in your mouth - what, you don't have a headache? Well how bout we have sex.

12-04-2003, 02:32 AM	#6 (permalink)
bravo49 Junkie Location: chocolate city	Very good In the bath:- "It's mine and I'll wash it as fast as I like"

12-04-2003, 04:57 AM	#7 (permalink)
mjby2 Crazy	unexpected

12-04-2003, 06:21 AM	#8 (permalink)
Gortexfogg I and I Location: Stillwater, OK	Funny stuff

12-04-2003, 05:08 PM	#13 (permalink)
brad-va Crazy Location: VA	haha.. I'll share that at work tomorrow. __________________ -- If at first you don't succeed, try something else. You're obviously no good at that.

12-05-2003, 08:14 PM	#14 (permalink)
Eviltree Psycho Location: British Columbia	hah, I wonder how long that would last.

12-05-2003, 08:48 PM	#15 (permalink)
MexicanOnABike Location: up north	hehehe.... id need more than 50... .200? 300? __________________ - Movie Reviews - Ratings-

12-06-2003, 05:29 PM	#16 (permalink)
Keg-o-Grog Insane Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.	hehehe __________________ I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

12-06-2003, 10:09 PM	#17 (permalink)
Bobdoler Crazy	heh, thats pretty good __________________ woot

12-08-2003, 12:09 PM	#20 (permalink)
thedrake Banned Location: Iowa	hehe

12-07-2003, 02:21 AM	#18 (permalink)
GremlinDelirium Insane Location: Pullman, WA	lol... is 50 enough times though? __________________ Go Cougs! ~WSU~

12-07-2003, 04:08 AM	#19 (permalink)
bluearmy Insane Location: uk	Top humour that one is going round work.