Eviltree

The Fourth Affair

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks
for a
beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "ONE CENT!" exclaimed
the guy,
The barman replied "Yes." So the guy glances over at the menu, and
he asks,
"Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with baked potato, chips,
peas,
cornbread and a fried egg?" "Certainly sir," replies the bartender,
"but all
that comes to real money. "How much money?" inquires the guy. "4
cents," he
replies. "FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the Guy who owns
this
place?" The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says,
"What's
he doing with your wife?" The bartender replies, "Same as I'm doing
to his
business."


The Fifth Affair

Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining candlelight vigil
by his
bed side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face.
Her
praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips
began
to move slightly."My darling Becky," he whispered. "Hush, my love,"
she
said. "Rest. Shhh, don't talk." He was insistent. "Becky," he said
in his
tired voice "I have something I must confess to you." "There's
nothing to
confess," replied the weeping Becky. "Everything's right, go to
sleep." "No,
no. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with your sister, your
best
friend, her best friend, and your mother!" "I know" Becky whispered
softly.
"That's why I poisoned you."Part 1