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Old 11-14-2003, 03:45 PM   #1 (permalink)
so many men...so little time.
 
Location: Bellingham
the ostrich story

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their order. The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man. "Same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, just put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say!"
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Old 11-15-2003, 02:45 PM   #2 (permalink)
Tilted
 
BAHAHAHAHAHAH, what a great set up, I did not see that coming at all.
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Old 11-15-2003, 05:09 PM   #3 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Sydney - Australia
Ehehehe, that joke was fantastic!
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Old 11-16-2003, 12:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Sunny S.FLA
Haha i'm remembering this one
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Old 11-16-2003, 12:42 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Davidson, NC/ Manassas, VA
yes chicks...never quite what your looking for
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Old 11-16-2003, 04:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
Hiding Out
 
Heh, classical!
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Old 11-16-2003, 06:01 PM   #7 (permalink)
Misanthropic
 
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Location: Ohio! yay!
I heard the same joke, except it was a man about a foot tall who always kicked over the guy's drink... he had wished for a 12 inch prick...
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Old 11-18-2003, 06:14 AM   #8 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: State of confusion...wait that's medication.
*Sigh*...times are tough.
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Old 11-18-2003, 07:32 AM   #9 (permalink)
Insane
 
what a bummer!
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Old 11-18-2003, 08:51 AM   #10 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Vermont
One of the better genie-themed jokes I've heard.
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Old 11-18-2003, 11:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
It wasnt me
 
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Location: Scotland
That had a nice twist!
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Old 11-18-2003, 12:16 PM   #12 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Always be precise with you wishes - damn genies!
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Old 11-18-2003, 06:39 PM   #13 (permalink)
Crazy
 
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Old 11-21-2003, 03:39 PM   #14 (permalink)
Addict
 
funny
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Old 11-21-2003, 04:23 PM   #15 (permalink)
Daddy
 
Location: Right next door to Hell
You have to hate the genie, always trying to screw with you a little
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Old 11-21-2003, 06:26 PM   #16 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
The English version of the joke involves a midget who always demands the guy pay for his meal too, and the ostrich doesn't talk. He wished for "a long legged bird with a tight little coont."

Still, funny. Thanks!
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Old 11-21-2003, 09:40 PM   #17 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: British Columbia
Nice. Kind of reminds me of the 'half of my head is an orange' joke
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Old 02-13-2004, 04:55 PM   #18 (permalink)
Psycho
 
good clean joke
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