warrrreagl

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as 'Euro-English'. In the first year 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'C' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgraseful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor truble or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!

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scroungrat

umm........

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Hmm, what to say in a signature?

Reese

ya know.. thats the way all languages should be taught. Very easy to understand

hahah good joke.

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pilot123

no german, they will find a way to sneak it in.

oxymorphone

very funny.

GreenCloud

somehow reminds me newspeak.... good idea for a joke someone had though

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"Boy, I like that echo... goes right through my head... I had that happen once, but it was chemically induced...." - Steve Earle

mojoman

One of the best jokes in a long time...=)

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Snakeyes

I really do believe that there should be one master language for all the world. Not that I'm a nazi or something.

DEI37

Mmm...Nazi good...oh wait...did I say that out loud? Crap. Anyways, yes, a master language would be nice. So long as it's some southern drawl or sumtin' like dat.

Fallon

Heh, I remember something like this awhile ago about learning chinese this way, good joke though.

GremlinDelirium

Started to sound like the way a few people I know actually speak.

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ForgottenKnight

Reminds me of a professor I had last semester. He was from Europe and all his 'th' words were pronouced with 'z'.

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mirevolver

lets just forego the whole process and learn german

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fizzledorf

zonds gud to me -- a vew zmal sakrifises to the englich iz a fair trad to kep uz from spaching german. Vait, zis sonds a lot lich german eh?

forgotten_dream

heh heh. Sneaky germans! >_<

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Eviltree

I jost had an email vis dat same sing, it vos very amusink

crackpot

Heh heh, clever one, thanks!

aus5tin

ziss izz vondurfull..

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YELLOW450

very clever i like it