Queen's English
 

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as 'Euro-English'. In the first year 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'C' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgraseful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor truble or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!

umm........

ya know.. thats the way all languages should be taught. Very easy to understand :)

hahah good joke.

no german, they will find a way to sneak it in.

very funny.

somehow reminds me newspeak.... good idea for a joke someone had though

One of the best jokes in a long time...=)

I really do believe that there should be one master language for all the world. Not that I'm a nazi or something.

Mmm...Nazi good...oh wait...did I say that out loud? Crap. Anyways, yes, a master language would be nice. So long as it's some southern drawl or sumtin' like dat.

Heh, I remember something like this awhile ago about learning chinese this way, good joke though.

Started to sound like the way a few people I know actually speak.

Reminds me of a professor I had last semester. He was from Europe and all his 'th' words were pronouced with 'z'.

lets just forego the whole process and learn german

zonds gud to me -- a vew zmal sakrifises to the englich iz a fair trad to kep uz from spaching german. Vait, zis sonds a lot lich german eh?

heh heh. Sneaky germans! >_<

I jost had an email vis dat same sing, it vos very amusink

Heh heh, clever one, thanks!

ziss izz vondurfull..

very clever i like it