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10-16-2003, 05:39 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Go Cardinals
Location: St. Louis/Cincinnati
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Newlywed Christmas
A newlywed couple goes to bed early on Christmas night. The wife awakes in the middle of the night, wakes her husband and says: "Honey, Honey wake up! I had the most amazing dream!"
Husband: "Huh, what was it?" Wife: "In my dream I saw a Christmas tree that was decorated with all different kinds of dicks. There was big ones, small ones, black ones, white ones, and at the top of the tree was the perfect dick: it was long and thick!" Husband: "Well, it was my dick, right?" Wife: "No, it was Dennis Rodman's!" The husband, somewhat annoyed that his wife awoke him to tell him about a dream about Dennis Rodman's dick, rolled over and went to sleep. Later that evening the husband awoke and wakes his wife and says: "Honey, I had the most amazing dream!" Wife: "What was it?" Husband: "In my dream I saw a Christmas tree that was decorated with all different kinds of pussy's. There was tight ones, loose ones, black ones,white ones, and at the top of the tree was the perfect pussy: it was tight and shaved!" Wife: "Was it mine?" Husband: "No, yours was holding the tree up!"
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Brian Griffin: Ah, if my memory serves me, this is the physics department. Chris Griffin: That would explain all the gravity. |
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10-20-2003, 10:22 AM
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#9 (permalink) |
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We can't stop here! This is bat country!
Location: SL,UT
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good one
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Brian: “Ok, all we’ve gotta do is find the American Embassy, and they’ll help us get home” Stewie: “Home? I have no intention of returning to that disgusting hovel with that intolerable woman, that fat slob, and that insufferable dog… Oh, you’re right here aren’t you? Oh well, I stand by it." |
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10-20-2003, 03:17 PM
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#10 (permalink) |
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Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind
Location: Oreegawn
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buuuuuurn. rad joke.
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Words of Wisdom: If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane. |
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10-23-2003, 06:35 PM
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#13 (permalink) |
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The Ultimate Badass
Location: Tampa
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double standards suck....
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"The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom. Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace. Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better. This is all the stuff the Mommy used to tell him. She used to say, "The only frontier you have left is the world of intangibles. Everything else is sewn up too tight." Caged inside too many laws. By intangibles, she meant the Internet, movies, music, stories, art, rumors, computer programs, anything that isn't real. Virtual realities. Make-believe stuff. The culture. The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because it's only the intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die." |
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| Tags |
| christmas, newlywed |
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