Lawyer joke... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

tekaweni · 10-05-2003, 07:12 AM

Dont know where I heard this one, hopefully not here...

A lawyer parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a taxi comes flying along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off. Distraught, the lawyer grabs his cellphone and calls the cops.

An hour later, the police arrive. Before the cop has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically: "My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!"

After the lawyer finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust. "I can't believe how materialistic you bloody lawyers are," he says. "You're so focused on your material possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life."

"How can you say such a thing at a time like this?" snaps the lawyer.

The policeman replies: "Didn't you realise that your arm was torn off when the taxi hit you?"

The lawyer looks down in absolute horror. "Bloody hell!" he screams, "my Rolex!!!"

TerresqueÜ · 10-05-2003, 06:51 PM

I hate lawyers...but they do have thier place...

Latch · 10-06-2003, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TerresqueÜ
I hate lawyers...but they do have thier place...

Yeah, it's called "Hell"

thumbs · 10-06-2003, 07:58 AM

haha, it's funny because it's true

ally · 10-06-2003, 05:06 PM

are they all really that bad?

loganmule · 10-07-2003, 06:45 PM

funny...I need to add this to my lawyer joke folder

iktoweya · 10-07-2003, 07:59 PM

good one

01-14-2005, 07:45 PM

I just heard a different version of that joke and I was going to post it but I had a feeling it may already be on here.
That joke is hilariously true!

doubleaught · 01-15-2005, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ally

are they all really that bad?

From personal experience, YES.

About 95% of lawyers truly deserve the reputation.

drakers · 01-15-2005, 07:06 PM

That is just wrong, funny, but wrong. Maybe cause my dad is a lawyer (not an ambulance chaser by any means).

Bauer_Power · 01-16-2005, 02:15 AM

Just like a bloodsucking lawyer

loganmule · 01-16-2005, 09:45 PM

I'm a lawyer and love jokes about my profession. This is good, but my favorite is still the one about the difference between a dead skunk and a dead lawyer in the road...the skid marks in front of the skunk.

As for the aspersions cast upon my profession, it's simply a case of 95% of the attorneys giving the other 5% of us a bad name.

mojodragon · 01-25-2005, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loganmule

As for the aspersions cast upon my profession, it's simply a case of 95% of the attorneys giving the other 5% of us a bad name.

LOL - That's probably one of the most honest things I've ever heard from a lawyer!

SirLance · 01-26-2005, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TerresqueÜ

I hate lawyers...but they do have thier place...

... at the business end of my .357!

ranger · 02-02-2005, 09:07 AM

What does a lawyer use for birth-control?

His personality!

10-05-2003, 07:12 AM	#1 (permalink)
tekaweni It wasnt me Location: Scotland	Lawyer joke... Dont know where I heard this one, hopefully not here... A lawyer parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a taxi comes flying along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off. Distraught, the lawyer grabs his cellphone and calls the cops. An hour later, the police arrive. Before the cop has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically: "My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!" After the lawyer finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust. "I can't believe how materialistic you bloody lawyers are," he says. "You're so focused on your material possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life." "How can you say such a thing at a time like this?" snaps the lawyer. The policeman replies: "Didn't you realise that your arm was torn off when the taxi hit you?" The lawyer looks down in absolute horror. "Bloody hell!" he screams, "my Rolex!!!" __________________ If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

10-05-2003, 06:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	I hate lawyers...but they do have thier place... __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

10-07-2003, 07:59 PM	#7 (permalink)
iktoweya These pretzels are making me thirsty!! Location: 105B	good one __________________ i miss K-Wise

01-16-2005, 02:15 AM	#11 (permalink)
Bauer_Power Tilted Location: Nebraska	Just like a bloodsucking lawyer __________________ Odoyal Rules!!!

10-06-2003, 07:58 AM	#4 (permalink)
thumbs Upright	haha, it's funny because it's true

10-06-2003, 05:06 PM	#5 (permalink)
ally Insane Location: Boone,NC	are they all really that bad?

10-07-2003, 06:45 PM	#6 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	funny...I need to add this to my lawyer joke folder

01-14-2005, 07:45 PM	#8 (permalink)
:::OshnSoul::: Guest	I just heard a different version of that joke and I was going to post it but I had a feeling it may already be on here. That joke is hilariously true!

01-15-2005, 07:06 PM	#10 (permalink)
drakers Psycho Location: IOWA	That is just wrong, funny, but wrong. Maybe cause my dad is a lawyer (not an ambulance chaser by any means).

01-16-2005, 09:45 PM	#12 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	I'm a lawyer and love jokes about my profession. This is good, but my favorite is still the one about the difference between a dead skunk and a dead lawyer in the road...the skid marks in front of the skunk. As for the aspersions cast upon my profession, it's simply a case of 95% of the attorneys giving the other 5% of us a bad name.

02-02-2005, 09:07 AM	#15 (permalink)
ranger Crazy Location: antioch IL	What does a lawyer use for birth-control? His personality!