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Old 09-17-2003, 01:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
lascivious
 
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Fake breast rant

Where did our fascination with fake breasts start? I think I have an idea. There are really only two major consumer groups that take porno magazines seriously:

The 15-year-old kid and the 30-year-old pervert.

Now there is a serious problem with this. Who has say over the context of the porno magazines? Obviously not the 15 year old kid. Certainly there are other men from various age groups who look at pornography, but would they actually write to the publishers? Who else but a 30 year old, womanless redneck jerk-off would write a letter to the magazine saying:

"Dear Hustler, boy them triple D boobs on Debra Biguns sure are purtie. Boy them udders got me off all night…"

So these freaks dictate the sexual preferences of the whole country! The first place any kid will see a naked woman is in a porno magazine. It’s the sexual education manual for every kid in America. So they open up these magazines and what do they see? The preferences of 30 year old perverts! They grow up thinking that this is hot. They think that these women who are selected by completely deranged minds are what every one else considers attractive. We are so screwed people.

I really cant understand what’s so attractive about fake breasts. They are fake for god sakes. They are not there. If a woman had long beautiful and _wooden_ legs would those be attractive too?

Imagine this little scenario. Prosthetic penises are in! Any man can go into a doctors office and get his winky exchanged for a 9 inch slab of silicon. That’s right, now any man can have a huge woman pleasing, never tiring, always lubricating and maybe even vibrating tool of manly goodness! This is great. Its heaven. But wait a minute. Wait just a second. What you actually have here is a lot of men without cocks!

So shouldn't the same logic apply for breasts?

Now I think that the majority of the population would agree that replacing body parts with better abet fake body parts just doesnt work.

But what if there was another way? What if there was a way to improve our "assets" though genetic modification.

God knows that will be the first practical use our mapping of the genome. Right now hundreds of scientists all over the country are working on ways to insure that your kids will have big breasts and penises. Both if you prefer. Why are they working on this instead of a cure of some decease? Because all people are vain, and only a small percentage are sick. Screw a cure for cancer you want little Johnny to have an adequately large penis. You wouldn’t want little Johnny to live a long life with a small penis would you? Quality over quantity folks!








Writen: by ME!
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Old 09-17-2003, 04:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Where hockey pucks run rampant
Real or just real nice...............I won't hold 'em against them.


Hopefully, just against me





Yeah, knee-slapper.
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Old 09-17-2003, 05:25 PM   #3 (permalink)
B21
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Location: Earth
If u can touch them there real
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Old 09-17-2003, 05:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Simi Valley, CA
I'm going to have to agree with this other odd rant.
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Old 09-17-2003, 07:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
lascivious
 
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Okay so i am no Denis Leary, was fun to write never the less.
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Old 09-17-2003, 11:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Milwaukee
And this is humorous how?
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Old 09-18-2003, 11:58 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Broken Arrow, OK
Yeah well without getting too deep into why men like bigger breasts is simply on a unconsciece level a man is looking for a woman that can take care of his children. Having large breasts shows that she would have alot of milk for the kid. Now I am not a fan of the tig ol bitties, but occasionaly, if they look natural enough. I saw that on Discovery, it was about sex and why we think certain parts of the body are more attractive then others and why certain parts act the way they do when we are aroused.
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Old 09-19-2003, 07:07 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Just outside the D.C. belt
I just imagine these ladies in the retirement home outside of Miami snoozing in the sun, wrinkles all over and massive hooters stretching their flannel granny sacks.

Makes me laugh.

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Old 09-19-2003, 07:18 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: where happiness lives
that last paragraph reminds me of something i've heard. Would you give hormones to your kids to make them taller?
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