Revenge - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

jindiv · 09-14-2003, 01:10 AM

A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach shore contemplating how badly she got screwed in her divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washed up on the shore.

She rubs the lamp and out pops a magical genie.
The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation the genie informs her that he will give her three wishes. But, because he does not believe in divorce, he will give her ex-husband ten times the quantity of whatever she wishes for.
The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly fair, but she makes her first wish. The first wish is for a billion dollars. The genie grants her wish and she finds herself sitting on a pile on one billion one-dollar bills. The genie then reminds her that her husband is now the recipient of 10 billion dollars.
The woman can barely contain her anger when she makes her second wish. The second wish is for a beautiful mansion on the shore of her own private beach. It is instantly granted, but then the genie reminds her that her ex-husband now owns ten of them, and points out at to a small development of ten such mansions.
Upon hearing this, the woman takes her time to contemplate her last wish. Just as the genie was about to give up on her, the women informs the genie that she wants to make her last wish.

“For my last wish, I’d like to give birth to twins.”

fizzledorf · 09-15-2003, 05:47 AM

ouch

/first reply

insidious_machinae · 09-16-2003, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fizzledorf
ouch

Root_Beer_Man · 09-16-2003, 07:56 PM

man...where would they come out....it would prolly be the pe...*shudders*

hehe funny joke

doubleaught · 09-18-2003, 07:55 PM

open wide?

acostello · 09-18-2003, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jindiv

“For my last wish, I’d like to give birth to twins.”

The way I heard it -
For my last wish, I'd like to have a mild heart-attack

Tarn · 09-19-2003, 01:41 AM

AAAAUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCHhhhhhhhhh !!!!!

hawkeye · 09-20-2003, 12:58 AM

Oohh. man that hurts just thinking about it. funny tho...

HunterDevourer · 09-20-2003, 04:01 AM

Hmmm, not happy with divorce settlement?
She didn't get more than 80%?
jk...

Good one!

Dunta · 09-20-2003, 07:07 AM

That would definately suck. haha

hundred-peons · 09-21-2003, 03:53 AM

I heard a varient of this, where it's a man and his mother in law.

The mother inlaw gets twice of everything the man wishes for.

A billion dollars

A mansion on the beach

And ... scared half to death.

soccerchamp76 · 09-21-2003, 07:27 AM

I also heard it as having a very very mild heart attack, then her husband would have a massive heart attack....

bubbaspike · 09-21-2003, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by acostello
The way I heard it -
For my last wish, I'd like to have a mild heart-attack

Thats the way I heard it too.

Stare At The Sun · 09-21-2003, 10:45 AM

Lol, thats a good one.. and yes, ouch.

punx1325 · 09-22-2003, 11:39 AM

omg....ouch
20 kids...I think that would be a new record!

mystmarimatt · 09-22-2003, 12:04 PM

loganmule · 09-24-2003, 03:29 PM

lots of variations of this, all good...my favorite is where the guy's third wish (his worst enemy gets twice his own wish) is that the genie should remove one of his testicles

pancakerabbit · 09-24-2003, 06:29 PM

Vengence...Revenge...Revengence =p </homestarrunner reference>

tritium · 09-24-2003, 07:05 PM

ouch ouch ouch

fallen_angel · 09-24-2003, 08:15 PM

thats very harsh but just in this case. good post thanx for making me laugh.

preluder · 09-28-2003, 02:05 AM

lol, my pee hole hurts

Bossnass · 09-28-2003, 11:40 AM

I heard it as 'she got a devious look and then smiled, saying '"I'd like two big black men to fuck me half to death'"

TerresqueÜ · 09-28-2003, 02:31 PM

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

edmos1 · 10-02-2003, 02:40 PM

ahaha

giblfiz · 10-04-2003, 02:36 PM

I always heard it with "now scare me half to death"

I must say though, the "I want a baby" version is excilent.

bishopwill · 10-10-2003, 12:56 PM

powder · 10-10-2003, 02:12 PM

09-14-2003, 01:10 AM	#1 (permalink)
jindiv Upright Location: Sydney	Revenge A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach shore contemplating how badly she got screwed in her divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washed up on the shore. She rubs the lamp and out pops a magical genie. The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation the genie informs her that he will give her three wishes. But, because he does not believe in divorce, he will give her ex-husband ten times the quantity of whatever she wishes for. The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly fair, but she makes her first wish. The first wish is for a billion dollars. The genie grants her wish and she finds herself sitting on a pile on one billion one-dollar bills. The genie then reminds her that her husband is now the recipient of 10 billion dollars. The woman can barely contain her anger when she makes her second wish. The second wish is for a beautiful mansion on the shore of her own private beach. It is instantly granted, but then the genie reminds her that her ex-husband now owns ten of them, and points out at to a small development of ten such mansions. Upon hearing this, the woman takes her time to contemplate her last wish. Just as the genie was about to give up on her, the women informs the genie that she wants to make her last wish. “For my last wish, I’d like to give birth to twins.”

09-16-2003, 07:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
Root_Beer_Man Crazy	man...where would they come out....it would prolly be the pe...shudders hehe funny joke __________________ >3 Cheers for boobies!!<

09-20-2003, 12:58 AM	#8 (permalink)
hawkeye back from sabbatical Location: Mosptopia	Oohh. man that hurts just thinking about it. funny tho... __________________ You're not fat, You're just a giant ball of love, covered in anger.

09-20-2003, 04:01 AM	#9 (permalink)
HunterDevourer Insane Location: Sydney - Australia	Hmmm, not happy with divorce settlement? She didn't get more than 80%? jk... Good one! __________________ Viva La Muerte

09-22-2003, 11:39 AM	#15 (permalink)
punx1325 Junkie Location: San Diego	omg....ouch 20 kids...I think that would be a new record! __________________ If something seems too good to be true, then it probably is....

09-15-2003, 05:47 AM	#2 (permalink)
fizzledorf Insane	ouch /first reply

09-18-2003, 07:55 PM	#5 (permalink)
doubleaught Psycho Location: OMFG BRB	open wide?

09-19-2003, 01:41 AM	#7 (permalink)
Tarn Crazy	AAAAUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCHhhhhhhhhh !!!!!

09-20-2003, 07:07 AM	#10 (permalink)
Dunta Tilted	That would definately suck. haha

09-21-2003, 03:53 AM	#11 (permalink)
hundred-peons Upright	I heard a varient of this, where it's a man and his mother in law. The mother inlaw gets twice of everything the man wishes for. A billion dollars A mansion on the beach And ... scared half to death.

09-21-2003, 07:27 AM	#12 (permalink)
soccerchamp76 Go Cardinals Location: St. Louis/Cincinnati	I also heard it as having a very very mild heart attack, then her husband would have a massive heart attack....

09-21-2003, 10:45 AM	#14 (permalink)
Stare At The Sun Eh? Location: Somewhere over the rainbow	Lol, thats a good one.. and yes, ouch.

09-22-2003, 12:04 PM	#16 (permalink)
mystmarimatt Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind Location: Oreegawn	haha __________________ Words of Wisdom: If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

09-24-2003, 03:29 PM	#17 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	lots of variations of this, all good...my favorite is where the guy's third wish (his worst enemy gets twice his own wish) is that the genie should remove one of his testicles

09-24-2003, 06:29 PM	#18 (permalink)
pancakerabbit Tilted	Vengence...Revenge...Revengence =p </homestarrunner reference> __________________ I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. - Jack Handey

09-24-2003, 07:05 PM	#19 (permalink)
tritium Professor of Drinkology	ouch ouch ouch __________________ Blah.

09-28-2003, 02:31 PM	#23 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

10-02-2003, 02:40 PM	#24 (permalink)
edmos1 Daddy Location: Right next door to Hell	ahaha

10-10-2003, 12:56 PM	#26 (permalink)
bishopwill Upright	lol __________________ I'm not afraid of the big, bad, wolf. It's those house-building pigs that scare me

09-24-2003, 08:15 PM	#20 (permalink)
fallen_angel Psycho Location: Somewhere between the Havens and the Earth	thats very harsh but just in this case. good post thanx for making me laugh. __________________ from the Havens I have fallen. . . to the earth as a mangled form. . . writhing in pain, my wings torn and bloodied. . . I have one purpose, only one goal. . . to find you and love you, for I am your. . . fallen angel

09-28-2003, 02:05 AM	#21 (permalink)
preluder Tilted Location: Houston, TX	lol, my pee hole hurts

09-28-2003, 11:40 AM	#22 (permalink)
Bossnass Détente Location: AWOL in Edmonton	I heard it as 'she got a devious look and then smiled, saying '"I'd like two big black men to fuck me half to death'"

10-04-2003, 02:36 PM	#25 (permalink)
giblfiz is a shoggoth Location: LA	I always heard it with "now scare me half to death" I must say though, the "I want a baby" version is excilent. __________________ Use the star one and you'll be fighting off the old ones with your bare hands -A Shoggoth on the Roof

10-10-2003, 02:12 PM	#27 (permalink)
powder Loser Location: ski town	ha.