Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-09-2003, 01:04 PM   #1 (permalink)
I am the anomaly.
 
Location: Motown
Never Hire A Man To Do A Womans Job

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position.

After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which person would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."

The man got a shocked look on his face and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my own wife!" Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they bring the second man to the same door and hand him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."

The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about five minutes, then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her. I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."

"No," the CIA man replied. "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go the hell home."

Now they're down to the woman left to test. Again they lead her to the same door and hand her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances. This is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him."

The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA heard the gun start firing, one shot after another, for 13 shots. Then they heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes, then all went quiet. The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman.

She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat the S.O.B. to death with the chair!"
__________________
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

marcopolo is offline  
Old 09-09-2003, 01:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: Sunny S.FLA
I think this was posted before, or i read it at jokes.com....hehe eitherway it's hilarious
Tiger69z is offline  
Old 09-09-2003, 02:51 PM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
OUCH! omg...remind me to never never get a wife who will even THINK of joining the CIA.
__________________
>3 Cheers for boobies!!<
Root_Beer_Man is offline  
Old 09-09-2003, 08:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
Eh?
 
Stare At The Sun's Avatar
 
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Wow, thats fucking funny
Stare At The Sun is offline  
Old 09-12-2003, 12:59 AM   #5 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: chocolate city
Very, very good
bravo49 is offline  
Old 09-12-2003, 02:02 AM   #6 (permalink)
Insane
 
Keg-o-Grog's Avatar
 
Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.
hahaw
__________________
I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

Keg-o-Grog is offline  
Old 09-12-2003, 05:09 AM   #7 (permalink)
Squid
 
MikeyChalupa's Avatar
 
Location: USS George Washington
It was funnier when it was the original joke, with the man being the CIA recruit...

-Mikey
MikeyChalupa is offline  
Old 09-12-2003, 05:15 PM   #8 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Long Island, NY
hahaha too funny!
__________________
"Can't help it if I space in a daze, my eyes tune out the other way... I may switch off and go in a daydream... in this head my thoughts are deep, Sometimes I can't even speak, would someone be and not pretend, I'm off again in my world"
daydream is offline  
Old 09-13-2003, 05:20 AM   #9 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: uk
Nice one made me laugh.
bluearmy is offline  
Old 09-13-2003, 01:25 PM   #10 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Where hockey pucks run rampant
Cold mother****er.


Perfect for the job
__________________
Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!
duckduck is offline  
Old 09-13-2003, 09:04 PM   #11 (permalink)
Upright
 
women are scary .. heh
just like Duckduck said....cold mf'ers
japzster is offline  
Old 09-24-2003, 09:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Somewhere between the Havens and the Earth
a woman listens to orders only when she wants too.
__________________
from the Havens I have fallen. . . to the earth as a mangled form. . . writhing in pain, my wings torn and bloodied. . . I have one purpose, only one goal. . . to find you and love you, for I am your. . . fallen angel
fallen_angel is offline  
Old 09-25-2003, 10:18 PM   #13 (permalink)
2+2=5? Not again!
 
MichaelFarker's Avatar
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
That's what he gets for telling a woman that he loves her more than life itself. Sometimes they take those things too literally.
MichaelFarker is offline  
Old 09-26-2003, 10:16 AM   #14 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Quote:
Originally posted by fallen_angel
a woman listens to orders only when she wants too.


And great joke too.
CyN1caL is offline  
Old 09-26-2003, 09:16 PM   #15 (permalink)
Hiding Out
 
Hahahahahahahah, I wouldn't be surpirsed if that were to happen...
__________________
Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition
TerresqueÜ is offline  
Old 09-27-2003, 06:28 PM   #16 (permalink)
Addict
 
Silverbrain's Avatar
 
Location: Nor Cal
Ok that has to be one of my favorites, thanks!
__________________
Over Thinking, Over Analyzing
Seperates the Body from the Mind - MJK
Silverbrain is offline  
Old 09-28-2003, 01:49 AM   #17 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Houston, TX
hahaha, that's a good one
preluder is offline  
Old 10-03-2003, 01:50 AM   #18 (permalink)
Insane
 
nofnway's Avatar
 
Location: under the freeway bridge
lol.....blanks.....chair......
__________________
"Iron rusts with disuse, stagnant water loses its purity and in cold water freezes. Even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind"
Leonardo Da Vinci
nofnway is offline  
 

Tags
hire, job, man, womans


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:28 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360