Ultimate "Walks into a bar" joke - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

nefarious · 05-02-2003, 12:03 AM

A man walks into a bar -

it hurt.

heh heh heh

cheese · 05-02-2003, 01:59 AM

classic

DEI37 · 05-02-2003, 04:12 AM

Yeah, I suppose it probably would! So long as it was above crotch level, that would lessen the injury!

zipper · 05-02-2003, 04:16 AM

Laughed my ass off.............so simple, how come I never thought of that!

cchris · 05-02-2003, 04:32 AM

Very clever

Brewmaniac · 05-02-2003, 04:57 AM

Great joke! Thanks

zaiaz · 05-02-2003, 06:11 AM

Wha th...............not again.

mino · 05-03-2003, 05:10 AM

A baby fur seal walked into a club...

(yeah, I know)

Empty_One · 05-03-2003, 09:48 AM

Two men walk into a bar...

The third man ducks

Eviltree · 05-03-2003, 04:11 PM

who leaves these bars around everywhere?

Pilgrim · 05-03-2003, 09:25 PM

Yep, that hurt

ForgottenKnight · 05-03-2003, 09:27 PM

Yes...it does hurt. Good Joke!

jimk · 08-28-2003, 01:41 PM

how does vlad the impaler's favorite joke begin??

-this bar goes into a guy.......

Tickford · 08-28-2003, 06:34 PM

I think that we need to start a bad joke section....... And thats a good one to start it with....

loganmule · 08-28-2003, 07:48 PM

that's right up there with "Take my wife...please." Sorry, but this contravenes the "better be funny" requirement for posts here...maybe not though, as it would have them rolling in the isles in France.

K-Wise · 08-29-2003, 01:30 AM

A three legged dog walks into a bar and shouts "I'm lookin for the man who shot muh paw!" classic. If you don't get that.....you're an idiot.

Asta!!

zenmaster10665 · 08-29-2003, 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jimk
how does vlad the impaler's favorite joke begin??

-this bar goes into a guy.......

lol...good one.

bravo49 · 08-29-2003, 01:53 AM

First joke of the day, I want to be sick

puddlesmilo · 08-29-2003, 02:27 AM

An Irish guy walks out of a bar............

Midlandmadman · 08-29-2003, 05:40 AM

A blind man walks into a bar............. what a terrible leader dog.

fizzledorf · 08-29-2003, 08:51 AM

this is one of my friend's all-time favorite jokes, she just can't get enough of it!!

Root_Beer_Man · 08-29-2003, 12:21 PM

Heard it...but it still cracks me up

drewg · 08-29-2003, 01:29 PM

Hahaha, good one. Never heard that one before

marcopolo · 08-29-2003, 01:31 PM

A pedophile a rapist and a priest walk into a bar . And that was only one guy !

Jonsgirl · 08-29-2003, 03:09 PM

Oooo marco, shame on you! That's great though!!
The bar joke is one of my all time favorites. I laugh every time.

marcopolo · 08-31-2003, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tickford
I think that we need to start a bad joke section....... And thats a good one to start it with....

You'll have to add it to this thread :

http://tfproject.org/tfp/showthread....ul+joke+thread

Shadowman · 08-31-2003, 05:06 AM

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

lola218 · 09-01-2003, 01:22 PM

Love bar jokes! This one is classic, but still makes me giggle!

yoda77 · 09-01-2003, 07:49 PM

OUCH!!!!!!!! short and sweet

1398342003 · 09-01-2003, 08:54 PM

My brother would try to tell one of these to people, but he'd finish the joke before they had his attension.

MuTuaL · 09-02-2003, 08:22 AM

Lol taht's one of the greatest bar jokes i've heard in a while.

CapnWaffle · 09-03-2003, 10:41 PM

The variant, of course, being -

One guy walked into a bar.

The next one ducked.

bulakbol master · 09-04-2003, 02:41 PM

And the ultimate variant being [posted in the anti-joke thread]:

Two ducks walked into a bar.

The third one guys.

zing~

MichaelFarker · 09-04-2003, 05:34 PM

nefarious, that's one of my all-time favorite jokes. It was totally mind blowing the first time I heard it.

A string goes into a bar. The bartender glares at it and says "Get out of here. We don't serve your kind." Dejected, the string goes outside. Then it gets an idea. It ties its top to its bottom and then drags itself back and forth on the sidewalk. It goes back into the bar but when the bartender sees it he says, "Hey, didn't I just tell you to get out?" It replies, "Fraid knot."

Kyrin · 09-05-2003, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mino
A baby fur seal walked into a club...

I don't think he walked into the club so much as it came crashing down on top of it...

Sen · 09-05-2003, 09:02 PM

Two guys walked into a bar.
The third one ducked.

shmoovekriminal · 09-06-2003, 09:13 AM

*groan*

Realizm · 09-06-2003, 02:23 PM

Hehe.

ariekitten · 09-06-2003, 04:12 PM

heeeeheeee i liked the vlad the impaler one

Keg-o-Grog · 09-09-2003, 12:22 AM

hahaa

05-02-2003, 12:03 AM	#1 (permalink)
nefarious Insane Location: Tucson, AZ	Ultimate "Walks into a bar" joke A man walks into a bar - it hurt. heh heh heh __________________ Si vis pacem, para bellum. - Vegetius "Do Re Mil.3, Prol.

05-02-2003, 04:16 AM	#4 (permalink)
zipper Crazy Location: Georgia, USA	Laughed my ass off.............so simple, how come I never thought of that! __________________ "If you wait 'til the last minute, it will only take you a minute!" Visit my home page http://zhphotography.zenfolio.com/

05-02-2003, 04:32 AM	#5 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Very clever __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

05-02-2003, 04:57 AM	#6 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Great joke! Thanks __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

05-02-2003, 06:11 AM	#7 (permalink)
zaiaz Psycho Location: State of confusion...wait that's medication.	Wha th...............not again. __________________ Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...

05-02-2003, 01:59 AM	#2 (permalink)
cheese Psycho Location: In your bath tub with all your other rubber toys	classic

05-02-2003, 04:12 AM	#3 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	Yeah, I suppose it probably would! So long as it was above crotch level, that would lessen the injury!

05-03-2003, 05:10 AM	#8 (permalink)
mino Upright Location: Melbourne, Australia	A baby fur seal walked into a club... (yeah, I know)

05-03-2003, 09:48 AM	#9 (permalink)
Empty_One Addict Location: Milwaukee, WI	Two men walk into a bar... The third man ducks

05-03-2003, 04:11 PM	#10 (permalink)
Eviltree Psycho Location: British Columbia	who leaves these bars around everywhere?

05-03-2003, 09:25 PM	#11 (permalink)
Pilgrim Crazy Location: Ilium	Yep, that hurt __________________ "So it goes."

05-03-2003, 09:27 PM	#12 (permalink)
ForgottenKnight Jesus Freak Location: Following the light...	Yes...it does hurt. Good Joke! __________________ "People say I'm strange, does that make me a stranger?"

08-28-2003, 01:41 PM	#13 (permalink)
jimk Addict Location: Chicago	how does vlad the impaler's favorite joke begin?? -this bar goes into a guy....... __________________ raw power is a guaranteed o.d. raw power is a laughin' at you & me -iggy

08-28-2003, 06:34 PM	#14 (permalink)
Tickford Insane Location: Australia	I think that we need to start a bad joke section....... And thats a good one to start it with.... __________________ Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. Samuel Goldwyn

08-28-2003, 07:48 PM	#15 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	that's right up there with "Take my wife...please." Sorry, but this contravenes the "better be funny" requirement for posts here...maybe not though, as it would have them rolling in the isles in France.

09-01-2003, 07:49 PM	#29 (permalink)
yoda77 Tilted Location: SF BAY AREA	OUCH!!!!!!!! short and sweet __________________ DRINK,SMOKE AND LAUGH

08-29-2003, 01:30 AM	#16 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	A three legged dog walks into a bar and shouts "I'm lookin for the man who shot muh paw!" classic. If you don't get that.....you're an idiot. Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

08-29-2003, 01:53 AM	#18 (permalink)
bravo49 Junkie Location: chocolate city	First joke of the day, I want to be sick

08-29-2003, 02:27 AM	#19 (permalink)
puddlesmilo Psycho	An Irish guy walks out of a bar............

08-29-2003, 05:40 AM	#20 (permalink)
Midlandmadman Redwing fan extraordinaire Location: Michigan	A blind man walks into a bar............. what a terrible leader dog. __________________ Its good to be back.

08-29-2003, 08:51 AM	#21 (permalink)
fizzledorf Insane	this is one of my friend's all-time favorite jokes, she just can't get enough of it!!

08-29-2003, 12:21 PM	#22 (permalink)
Root_Beer_Man Crazy	Heard it...but it still cracks me up __________________ >3 Cheers for boobies!!<

08-29-2003, 01:29 PM	#23 (permalink)
drewg Crazy Location: Norway	Hahaha, good one. Never heard that one before

08-29-2003, 01:31 PM	#24 (permalink)
marcopolo I am the anomaly. Location: Motown	A pedophile a rapist and a priest walk into a bar . And that was only one guy ! __________________ Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

08-29-2003, 03:09 PM	#25 (permalink)
Jonsgirl Semi-Atomic Location: Home.	Oooo marco, shame on you! That's great though!! The bar joke is one of my all time favorites. I laugh every time. __________________ Someday, someone will best me. But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

08-31-2003, 05:06 AM	#27 (permalink)
Shadowman Crazy Location: Perth	A dyslexic man walks into a bra... __________________ Shadowman

09-01-2003, 01:22 PM	#28 (permalink)
lola218 Tilted Location: beverly hills,fl	Love bar jokes! This one is classic, but still makes me giggle!

09-01-2003, 08:54 PM	#30 (permalink)
1398342003 Upright	My brother would try to tell one of these to people, but he'd finish the joke before they had his attension.

09-02-2003, 08:22 AM	#31 (permalink)
MuTuaL Crazy Location: Michigan	Lol taht's one of the greatest bar jokes i've heard in a while.

09-03-2003, 10:41 PM	#32 (permalink)
CapnWaffle Upright Location: Yakima, WA	The variant, of course, being - One guy walked into a bar. The next one ducked.

09-04-2003, 02:41 PM	#33 (permalink)
bulakbol master Upright Location: Philippines	And the ultimate variant being [posted in the anti-joke thread]: Two ducks walked into a bar. The third one guys. zing~ __________________ "There is a theory that says whenever somebody figures out exactly what the universe is and why it is here, it will immediately vanish and be replaced by something even more unexplainable and bizarre. There is another theory that says this has already happened." -Douglas Adams

09-04-2003, 05:34 PM	#34 (permalink)
MichaelFarker 2+2=5? Not again! Location: Dallas, Texas	nefarious, that's one of my all-time favorite jokes. It was totally mind blowing the first time I heard it. A string goes into a bar. The bartender glares at it and says "Get out of here. We don't serve your kind." Dejected, the string goes outside. Then it gets an idea. It ties its top to its bottom and then drags itself back and forth on the sidewalk. It goes back into the bar but when the bartender sees it he says, "Hey, didn't I just tell you to get out?" It replies, "Fraid knot."

09-05-2003, 09:02 PM	#36 (permalink)
Sen Insane Location: Midwest	Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked. __________________ "I want to announce my presence with authority!" "You want to what?" "I want to announce my presence with authority!!"

09-06-2003, 09:13 AM	#37 (permalink)
shmoovekriminal Upright Location: perth australia	groan

09-06-2003, 02:23 PM	#38 (permalink)
Realizm Insane Location: A fuzzy cloud.	Hehe.

09-06-2003, 04:12 PM	#39 (permalink)
ariekitten bAck iN aCtiOn! Location: in my imagination	heeeeheeee i liked the vlad the impaler one __________________ I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Don't hesitate to call. ~Vash, Trigun >'.'< kitty kitty, meow ^..^~