Policy Play - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 09-04-2003, 02:26 AM

FM: MANAGEMENT
to ALL Employees

After a lengthy study and successful pilot program with senior officials,
corporate management has decided on the following policy change.
Effect immediately, alcohol will now be served at the workplace
for the following reasons:

16 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL WILL BE SERVED AT WORK...

1. It's an incentive to show up.

2. It leads to more honest communications.

3. It reduces complaints about low pay.

4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.

5. It encourages car pooling.

6. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't
care.

7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather work.

8. It makes fellow employees look better.

9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

10. Bosses are more likely to hand our raises when they are wasted.

11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at a bar.

13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.

14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.

15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober them up.

16. Sitting "bare assed" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as
gross.

marcopolo · 09-05-2003, 12:52 PM

Drinks are on Uncle Phil ! WAH-HOO!

conversequietus · 09-05-2003, 05:08 PM

I've seen that list before, but it's still funny. Thanks.

Ilaek · 09-06-2003, 09:52 PM

You know, that would make work a lot more tolerable.

09-04-2003, 02:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Policy Play FM: MANAGEMENT to ALL Employees After a lengthy study and successful pilot program with senior officials, corporate management has decided on the following policy change. Effect immediately, alcohol will now be served at the workplace for the following reasons: 16 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL WILL BE SERVED AT WORK... 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It leads to more honest communications. 3. It reduces complaints about low pay. 4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear. 5. It encourages car pooling. 6. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care. 7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather work. 8. It makes fellow employees look better. 9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 10. Bosses are more likely to hand our raises when they are wasted. 11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable. 12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at a bar. 13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas. 14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break. 15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober them up. 16. Sitting "bare assed" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

09-05-2003, 12:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
marcopolo I am the anomaly. Location: Motown	Drinks are on Uncle Phil ! WAH-HOO! __________________ Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

09-05-2003, 05:08 PM	#3 (permalink)
conversequietus Insane	I've seen that list before, but it's still funny. Thanks.

09-06-2003, 09:52 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ilaek Upright	You know, that would make work a lot more tolerable.