Top 10 Scale Tips
 

1.Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner. As well as in the morning, without clothes, before breakfast,
because it's nice to see how much weight you've lost overnight.
2.Never weigh yourself with wet hair.
3.When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case, blurred vision is an asset.
Don't forget the earrings, these things can weigh at least a pound.
4.Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are always five pounds off to your advantage, of course.
5.Always go to the bathroom first.
6.Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.
7.Don't eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you've weighed in, completely naked, of course.
8.Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at least half a pound of hair (hopefully).
9.Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has to weigh something, right?)
10.Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the towel rack in front of you,
slowly edge your other foot on and slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it's worth it.
You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you'd stepped on normally.

I tried all of these. The machine still said "Fat bastard"

need to try all those maybe id like looking at the scale more often

I always get "One at a time, please"

-Mikey

when i take a dump, i weigh 5 pounds less afterwards...

Wow take 2 of those in a day and you have yourself a brand new weightloss plan that women would kill for!! *lose 10 lbs in one day!!*