JTC

Sorry if you've seen this list before but it's one of my all time favourites.

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women make noise.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted).
16. Double penetration makes a woman smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you find a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend doesn't knock the shit out of you if you shove your dick in his girlfriends mouth.
19. There's a plot (what the?!?!).
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before she decides to fuck the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches .... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's dick, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a dick there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

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I like to eat cheese

Tickford

I have seen alot of that list before...... but there are some new ones that I havent..

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Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

Samuel Goldwyn

viveleroi0

That is fricken hilarious!

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"It's not that I don't understand, it's that I don't care"
- Homer Simpson

Tiger69z

That's so wrong...yet so true

mrquackers

Great stuff!

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"If you're walking on thin ice, you may as well go ahead and dance."

HeAtHeN

#27 is great

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bparker805

Sounds like it could be a book "Everything I ever needed to know, I learned from porno".

baboora

haha...good one

Fremen

If it were only true!

Very funny list, JTC.
I hadn't seen it before. Thanks.

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Google

m0rpheus

You forgot #31
Being a delivery boy, or pool boy will get you laid on the job all the time.

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"it never got weird enough for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

Slims

Those are great.

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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

vermin

#25 is my favorite.

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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

loganmule

god these are all so good...personal favorite is the need to remind her to "suck it" but got a kick out of every one of them...I'll bet there are more things we're learned, if we gave it some thought

Root_Beer_Man

HAHA

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>3 Cheers for boobies!!<

hobo

HA! Nice list. It's sad because porn eventually messes up the way you think. You always expect that the nurse will suddenly blow you.

grayman

Unless it's a female cop, I would almost guarantee that #9 is true.

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That's right - I'm a guy in a suit eating a Blizzard. F U.

macmanmike6100

that's a great list dude; thanks - laughs galore!

Gortexfogg

"25. When a woman is sucking a man's dick, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it"."
Hahahahahaha! Great stuff!

Shpoop

#7 and 17 are great

great list

Andy Buchanan

Also it seems that women don't have hairy bums any more...how do you shave a bum anyway?