The Liverpool love story - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Insomniac(uk) · 08-15-2003, 05:09 AM

A LIVERPOOL LOVE STORY

A young woman in Liverpool was so depressed that she decided to
end
her

life by throwing herself into the Mersey.

She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing

water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the

pier, crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for.

l'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away

on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."

Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, I'll

keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded Yes, After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a

fresh start in America would give her life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.

>From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a
piece

of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by

the captain.

"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained.

"I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the captain said.

This is the Birkenhead Ferry."

fishswim · 08-15-2003, 05:50 AM

aawww... so sad... :-D

bluearmy · 08-16-2003, 04:21 AM

Brilliant, I'm still laughing now.

zubrei · 08-16-2003, 04:26 AM

Now that I do like. It's believable as well.

SirLance · 08-16-2003, 10:50 AM

Good one! Smart sailor. She must have been a blonde!

iktoweya · 08-16-2003, 12:14 PM

Keg-o-Grog · 08-16-2003, 02:24 PM

HAHAHAHA

08-16-2003, 07:22 PM

lmao that was one of a kind

DEI37 · 08-17-2003, 07:07 AM

Now that is good...definitely a Grade A funny!

Sleepyjack · 08-17-2003, 07:30 AM

nice one

Phatmonkyz · 08-17-2003, 09:30 PM

smart guy

Early H · 08-17-2003, 11:38 PM

Funny shit

jwoody · 08-18-2003, 12:37 AM

Good, new jokes are so rare these days. Thanks.

fizzledorf · 08-18-2003, 06:52 AM

that is great, i had no idea what to expect...another blonde i guess!

Insomniac(uk) · 08-18-2003, 07:06 AM

I'm so glad that everyone enjoyed it. My criteria for posting a joke is to
a, make sure I find it funny
b, make sure I’ve not received it within the last year
c, it's not already on the TFP (although I only usually search for the main character (i.e. in this case Liverpool) so if this joke is already about but with a woman from New York instead of a Liverpool lass I apologise (but as no-one has complained yet I'll assume that this is new to the board humour)

Will keep making sure it's all good stuff (well in my head at least!)

08-15-2003, 05:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
Insomniac(uk) Tilted	The Liverpool love story A LIVERPOOL LOVE STORY A young woman in Liverpool was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Mersey. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. l'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded Yes, After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. >From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the captain said. This is the Birkenhead Ferry." __________________ Insomniac

08-16-2003, 10:50 AM	#5 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Good one! Smart sailor. She must have been a blonde! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

08-16-2003, 12:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
iktoweya These pretzels are making me thirsty!! Location: 105B	lol __________________ i miss K-Wise

08-16-2003, 02:24 PM	#7 (permalink)
Keg-o-Grog Insane Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.	HAHAHAHA __________________ I stand alone without beliefs, the only truth i know is you.

08-17-2003, 07:07 AM	#9 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	Now that is good...definitely a Grade A funny! __________________ Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

08-15-2003, 05:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
fishswim Upright	aawww... so sad... :-D

08-16-2003, 04:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
bluearmy Insane Location: uk	Brilliant, I'm still laughing now.

08-16-2003, 04:26 AM	#4 (permalink)
zubrei Tilted Location: England Home of RWC Champions	Now that I do like. It's believable as well.

08-16-2003, 07:22 PM	#8 (permalink)
jdkash Guest	lmao that was one of a kind

08-17-2003, 07:30 AM	#10 (permalink)
Sleepyjack Fast'n'Bulbous Location: Australia, Perth	nice one

08-17-2003, 09:30 PM	#11 (permalink)
Phatmonkyz Insane	smart guy __________________ The Vagina - the mysterious hole from whence you came, and into which you hope to cum again. Good Times

08-17-2003, 11:38 PM	#12 (permalink)
Early H Upright Location: USA	Funny shit

08-18-2003, 12:37 AM	#13 (permalink)
jwoody Shackle Me Not Location: Newcastle - England.	Good, new jokes are so rare these days. Thanks. __________________ .

08-18-2003, 06:52 AM	#14 (permalink)
fizzledorf Insane	that is great, i had no idea what to expect...another blonde i guess!

08-18-2003, 07:06 AM	#15 (permalink)
Insomniac(uk) Tilted	I'm so glad that everyone enjoyed it. My criteria for posting a joke is to a, make sure I find it funny b, make sure I’ve not received it within the last year c, it's not already on the TFP (although I only usually search for the main character (i.e. in this case Liverpool) so if this joke is already about but with a woman from New York instead of a Liverpool lass I apologise (but as no-one has complained yet I'll assume that this is new to the board humour) Will keep making sure it's all good stuff (well in my head at least!) __________________ Insomniac