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Old 08-15-2003, 05:08 AM   #1 (permalink)
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The spooky story (Man and coffin)

Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club.

It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing.

Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin.

Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......


BUMP........





BUMP........







BUMP........







Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.





BUMP........






BUMP........







BUMP........







He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly....It was a coffin.



Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home.










BUMP........










BUMP........










BUMP........











He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster.........












BUMP........BUMP......









BUMP........BUMP......











BUMP........BUMP......











The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him......











BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...











BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...












BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...









He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......










BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.








BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....










BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP....










Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, his hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair.



Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase.....








BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...









BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...











BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...












BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...











In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........









BUMP...SCREECH...HOP..BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...










BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...











BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...





The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges.....

The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad.











BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...













BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP.SCREECH...








BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...









In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet......

He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the coffin.......still it came ........











BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...










He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ........still it came......








BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP.SCREECH...











He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ......still it came......









BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...












He grabbed some Benilyn cough mixture and threw it........











The coffin stopped.
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Old 08-15-2003, 05:16 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Near Gainesville, FL
I didn't get it. sorry. but you did get me to read the whole thing
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Old 08-15-2003, 05:18 AM   #3 (permalink)
Tilted
 
I do hope you're being sarcastic, but if not read the last two lines again (and again till you go , ohhhh and groan)
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Old 08-15-2003, 05:47 AM   #4 (permalink)
Bringer of good Moos...
 
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Location: Midlands, UK
groan indeed, but quite imaginative!
Sell it to benylin and they might turn it into an ad!
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Old 08-15-2003, 05:57 AM   #5 (permalink)
Upright
 
You got me.... haha
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Old 08-15-2003, 05:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Hey Cowudders14 That's; not a reference to Huddersfield is it?
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Old 08-15-2003, 06:21 AM   #7 (permalink)
I and I
 
Location: Stillwater, OK
Hahaha! Nice one.
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Old 08-15-2003, 06:58 AM   #8 (permalink)
Sexy eh?
 
Location: Sweden
hehehe...
The coffin (coughing) stopped..
Pretty lame but still funny!
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Old 08-15-2003, 09:40 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Steel Town, Ontario
I can't believe I read that whole thing....
(shaking head)
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Old 08-15-2003, 11:22 AM   #10 (permalink)
Sky Piercer
 
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Location: Ireland
Oh dear God! You should be shot for that one!
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Old 08-15-2003, 01:14 PM   #11 (permalink)
jdkash
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lame as lame can get but it was aight
 
Old 08-15-2003, 01:43 PM   #12 (permalink)
Hiding Out
 
Clever...lame...stupid...groan...good one.
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Old 08-15-2003, 09:48 PM   #13 (permalink)
These pretzels are making me thirsty!!
 
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Location: 105B
took a while
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Old 08-15-2003, 10:45 PM   #14 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: uhhhh
Bah! I wasted all that time just on one of THOSE jokes.
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Old 08-16-2003, 12:18 AM   #15 (permalink)
TIO
Addict
 
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Location: The Land Down Under
rofl
Great one! Can't wait to use that one at dinner tonight
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Old 08-16-2003, 12:59 AM   #16 (permalink)
Semi-Atomic
 
Location: Home.
Doh! I feel stupid and irritated all at the same time. lol
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Old 08-16-2003, 01:24 AM   #17 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: midwest
long way to go for a cheesy pun ending, but I admit being guilty of worse
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Old 08-16-2003, 10:56 AM   #18 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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Location: In the middle of the desert.
I think we have a winner! You sure got me. I won't admit it, but I love puns myself. And if you tell anybody, I'll deny it. Good one!
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Old 08-16-2003, 11:09 AM   #19 (permalink)
Psycho
 
groan!
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Old 08-16-2003, 11:15 AM   #20 (permalink)
Insane
 
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Location: Foregin student in Texas atm.
hahahahahaha... i love it
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Old 08-17-2003, 01:44 PM   #21 (permalink)
Crazy
 
lol, that was hilarious
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woot
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Old 08-17-2003, 02:14 PM   #22 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: where happiness lives
tough crowd
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someone else here must like Walton & Johnson too
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Old 08-17-2003, 07:53 PM   #23 (permalink)
Go faster!
 
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Location: Wisconsin
Creative? Yes. Groaner? You bet! I like it, though.
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Old 08-17-2003, 08:58 PM   #24 (permalink)
Insane
 
that took me a while
pretty funny once u get it
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Old 08-24-2003, 09:41 PM   #25 (permalink)
Crazy
 
oh shit, that one hurt.
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Old 08-24-2003, 11:37 PM   #26 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: chocolate city
I like it
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Old 08-25-2003, 11:17 PM   #27 (permalink)
back from sabbatical
 
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Location: Mosptopia
thanks, I hadn't heard that one in a while
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Old 08-26-2003, 01:25 AM   #28 (permalink)
The Cheshire Grin...
 
Location: An Aussie Outback
*shakes his head sadly*
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