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08-08-2003, 06:01 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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ARRRRRRRRRR
Location: Stuart, Florida
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A few simple rules for the ladies
You heard us talk about them on the air, so here they are.....
Man Rules - Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. - Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. - Crying is blackmail. - Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on thin one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just Say It !!! - “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers almost every question. - Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. - A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. - Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. - If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys. - If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. - If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. - You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. - Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. - Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, neither do we. - ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is. - If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. - If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. - If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. - When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. - Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. - You have enough clothes. - You have to many shoes. - I am in shape. Round is a shape. - Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that; it’s like camping. |
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08-13-2003, 06:06 PM
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#26 (permalink) |
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Crazy
Location: East Tennessee
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You blew it now they know that we don't mind sleeping on the couch! Darn just as I got it all set up mini fridge, extended cables for video games and special holder for multiple remotes. Remember men we must think before we talk specially in areas were women may get wind of it and use information to ruin our lives.
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08-16-2003, 07:07 PM
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#30 (permalink) | |
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Sarge of Blood Gulch Red Outpost Number One
Location: On the front lines against our very enemy
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Quote:
But other than that, great stuff, yeah the toilet seat one is right where it belongs.
__________________
"This ain't no Ice Cream Social!" "Hey Grif, Chupathingy...how bout that? I like it...got a ring to it." "I have no earthly idea what it is I just saw, or what this place is, or where in the hell O'Malley is! My only choice is to blame Grif for coming up with such a flawed plan. Stupid, stupid Grif." |
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08-18-2003, 07:14 AM
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#36 (permalink) | |
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Insane
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Re: A few simple rules for the ladies
Quote:
And Gnort, i just read you sig again and laughed right out loud. Man, that's funny... |
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09-03-2003, 09:33 AM
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#37 (permalink) |
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Tilted
Location: Tempe, AZ
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 That was pretty amusing, thanks!
__________________
"And I think it’s gonna be a long long time 'Till touchdown brings me 'round again to find I’m not the man they think I am at home Oh, no, no, no, I’m a rocket man, Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone..." |
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| Tags |
| ladies, rules, simple |
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