Firstly, I came to this page because JadziaDax linked to it from the Ladies Lounge.
Some of the things made sense to me, and were kinda funny. I'm with you on the toilet bit to be honest, women who can't put the seat down are just being difficult, it's not that hard.
However, some of the things you said just sounded dumb and stereotypical. I enjoy a shot at women as much as the next guy, which is weird seeing as i'm not a guy, but you just sound like some lame caveman wannabe. If you actually acted like that on a day to day bases I don't think you'd have a women's bed to be kicked out of. Some of that post seemed like you were just trying to get some men to grunt in accordance. But you did throw in some originality and I did appriciate that.

I'm a woman and all I can say is that you probably have a very sad and lonely life, because this attitude is barbaric. If you have a SO - tell her she has my condolences. Did you let HER read your list? Bet not!

What specifically on this list do you object to?

heh, I remember helping a german dude translate that set of rules into english.

Hilarious. I love it. Very creative! :D

- When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.


This is the one that stuck closest to home for me!!! good stuff!!!!

afmn now i have to go reevaluate my plans of attack. . . grrrr. . .

haha, be-yatch!

this should be required reading in schools!

Sounds like some women actually took offense to this. You know poking fun at the opposite sex for the ridiculous things they do is one of the hallmarks of humor, it's been going both ways since the beginning of time just relax and laugh

I wasn't offended really, I just thought that some were funny but some were dumb.

Hah, that was great. I have to agree on alot of what he said.

Those would make a great pair of marriage handbooks. "- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one." A lot of divorcees could have saved their marriages with that one. Most of them would go in the groom's handbook, though, under the heading of "Thou Shalt Not Say." Thanks for the great list, shalafi.

That was great.

That last line is absoloutly hilarious. LOL.

Thanks for that.

Amen! Well said!!

I don't get why you guys are all so excited about this. It's not that funny, and I've probably read things like these a million times. But oh well, I can laugh at myself too, and really the toilet seat thing just bugs the hell out of me. So, you guys LIKE sleeping on the couch, thanks for the tip.

gets out the camping gear

/me claps
/me saves
/me prints
/me shows to girlfriend
/me is now single

shannon and honeychile, calm down! Its in the humor forum meaning its a joke! I do agree with you that its not the truth, but it was just meant to evoke laughs.

i dont understand how this is so hard for them to understand...?

Oh man thats funny!

*Standing ovation* couldnt have put it anymore perfect. this is getting printed and posted in the house. Anyone that disagrees surely has a vagina and doesn't get the joke. thank you!

my fav

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Hmmm.. should i send this to my wife?? Maybe wait til tomorrow so I don't miss Monday Night Football...

Jokes like these get more funny once you get married...

Hear-Hear!

lol, i've read it before and it always makes me smile.

probably because the first time i was reading it, i was talking to my boyfriend on the phone and I read most of it to him. He started arguing for every point, saying it was all true.

i withhold comment on the truth for the basis of this thread, but i will admit it is funny

RE: The toilet seat wars

One way to combat this problem is to leave the seat down, if so demanded, then vary your aim. They will eventually see your point of view and relent.

It's funny and true.

-If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

* Soap opera guys suck

- If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

* You should love your woman, whether you think she's "fat" or not. The least you can do is make her feel better.

- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

* Makes men sound pretty stupid... doesn't really bother me, then.. :)

- Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, neither do we.

* It is to laugh.

- When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

* Okay, next time I go to dinner with my guy I'll wear an over-sized white tshirt with barbeque stains on it... dribble some coffee on it to get a little color in there.. while I'm at it, I'll belch and scratch my genitals. Dead sexy.

- Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

* I used to think men had brains.. oh well, you learn something new everyday.

This is actually related to the one about not asking questions you don't want the answer to.

You don't have to be dead sexy all the time, believe it or not.

Actually, this is the one I disagree with. Substitute "computers and porn" for all the topics it lists. :crazy:

The toilet seat one has already been answered on TFP. The proper position for the toilet seat is to leave the lid down when no one is using it. Pretty easy. :D

The real jems in this are in the middle.

- Crying is blackmail.
- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on thin one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just Say It !!!
- “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers almost every question.
- Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
- A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
- Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

This will be posted on my girl's fridge when she gets home tonight.

might i say, as a member of the "fairer sex," that i do in fact agree with many of these things. however, some of you men need to get your heads out of your asses when it comes to understanding women. not all women "distort" things, shop excessively, or dislike talking about monster trucks. ; )
go out and find yourselves a good woman, gentlemen! we can't live with you or without you!

True in so many ways, not to mention very funny.

Any woman who takes offense to this at all should keep in mind that in their own heads they've probably made their own equally-offensive-to-the-opposite-sex lists to theirselves and therefore are no better than whoever originally came up with this. Also, this is generic. Not all men think exactly as it it stated, and it's different from man to man. Much of the stuff in there can be substituted for other stuff. Also, things get blown out of proportion by readers. For instance, the thing about "wearing whatever you want" isn't saying that you can mess up your clothes, etc, and go out and still look fine. Even guys don't do that. It's just saying that something you feel comfortable wearing around the house is accepted by other people too. You don't need to dress up to please them.

That being said, this is great. There's a lot of truth to it.

heeheh