uncle phil

PENIS OR VAGINA


Top ten things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day!!

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too...

And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina...

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.


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Top ten things women would do if they woke up and had a penis for a day!!

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch/shift yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

And, the NUMBER ONE thing women would do if they woke up with a penis...

1. Repeat number 9.

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

johnnymysto

SO TRUE!!! Those are awesome. I need to print those out.

Thanks for a laugh.

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"I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request." - Capt. Barbossa

slant eyes

god damn funny. thanks. true too, however i can hit the bowl.

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no man or woman is worth your tears - and the one who is, won't make you cry

question authority, don't ask why, just do it!