uncle phil

Ever Wonder Why...

You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.

The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.

The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.

There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.

You open a can of soup, and the lid falls in.

It's bad enough that you step in dog shit, but you don't realize it till you walk across your living room rug.

There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.

You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.

Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.

You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.

You slice your tongue licking an envelope.

Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.

A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.

There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.

You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.

The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.

A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.

You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.

The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.

You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.

People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.

Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.

You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.

You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing.

You had that pen in your hand only a second ago, and now you can't find it.

You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

cchris

I'm in stiches here

Funny and frustrating.

Did I spell that right?

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There's a fine line between participation and mockery

tfpfreak

thanks alot

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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.

~ Clementine Paddleford

icy_ca

That damn dog's in other neighbourhoods too?

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After all is said and done,
more is said than done.

slant eyes

that's my neighbor's dog. barks at the back of the trash can for hours. then barks at me, while i'm sittin in MY garage for another 2 hours. i feel like jumping over there and strangling the dog.

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no man or woman is worth your tears - and the one who is, won't make you cry

question authority, don't ask why, just do it!

Happyland

More like things that suck than things you wonder about

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someone else here must like Walton & Johnson too

Same Guy

the glass is almost completely empty...
...

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Thank you, come again.