Pretzel - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

rocinante2003 · 07-23-2003, 11:41 PM

Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"

The wrestler nodded in agreement.

Now, to the match: The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold!

A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending.

Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"

The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"

txgirl · 07-24-2003, 03:30 AM

too funny!

reverendjay · 07-24-2003, 07:01 PM

Completely unexpected, absolutely hilarious. Great Post.

Slims · 07-24-2003, 08:56 PM

Funny, and unexpected.

TerresqueÜ · 07-24-2003, 10:26 PM

YEAHAHAHAHAHAHAH That's really unexpected!

Stare At The Sun · 07-25-2003, 01:41 AM

LOL very nice very well done!

Regziever · 07-25-2003, 02:07 AM

AAaaooowww....

Soda_BoB · 07-25-2003, 04:48 AM

Hahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!1

hawkeye · 07-25-2003, 10:16 PM

That's funny, but it hurts to just think about...

Fallen · 07-25-2003, 10:53 PM

Man, that's funny as hell.

oblar · 07-26-2003, 12:55 AM

great punchline

heard it before, but still an awesome joke

bastit · 07-26-2003, 01:07 AM

i dont think i would bite my own balls

danno209 · 07-26-2003, 04:39 AM

nice twist there at the end. didnt see it coming.

07-23-2003, 11:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
rocinante2003 Insane Location: Dallas	Pretzel Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!" The wrestler nodded in agreement. Now, to the match: The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold! A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending. Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match. The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!" The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"

07-24-2003, 07:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
reverendjay Insane Location: Baltimore	Completely unexpected, absolutely hilarious. Great Post. __________________ I'm married now, so the only thing in my house that pulls out now is the couch.

07-24-2003, 08:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	Funny, and unexpected. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

07-24-2003, 10:26 PM	#5 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	YEAHAHAHAHAHAHAH That's really unexpected! __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

07-25-2003, 02:07 AM	#7 (permalink)
Regziever Sexy eh? Location: Sweden	AAaaooowww.... __________________ Life is shit, Death is even worse, So what's the point of killing yourself? /Ignatius Camryn Paladine

07-24-2003, 03:30 AM	#2 (permalink)
txgirl so many men...so little time. Location: Bellingham	too funny!

07-25-2003, 01:41 AM	#6 (permalink)
Stare At The Sun Eh? Location: Somewhere over the rainbow	LOL very nice very well done!

07-25-2003, 04:48 AM	#8 (permalink)
Soda_BoB Psycho	Hahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!1 __________________ Just because you paranoid.don't mean they're not after you...- Kurt Cobain-Chopper Read Project Dolphin: Join the TFP Typing Team!

07-25-2003, 10:16 PM	#9 (permalink)
hawkeye back from sabbatical Location: Mosptopia	That's funny, but it hurts to just think about... __________________ You're not fat, You're just a giant ball of love, covered in anger.

07-25-2003, 10:53 PM	#10 (permalink)
Fallen Crazy Location: Adrift In Madness	Man, that's funny as hell. __________________ Overdosed on Apathy

07-26-2003, 12:55 AM	#11 (permalink)
oblar Über-Rookie Location: No longer, D.C	great punchline heard it before, but still an awesome joke __________________ "All that we can do is just survive. .All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush

07-26-2003, 01:07 AM	#12 (permalink)
bastit Tilted Location: San Diego	i dont think i would bite my own balls __________________ Have you ever caught a fart in a cup then smelled it...uhh yeah me neither

07-26-2003, 04:39 AM	#13 (permalink)
danno209 Upright	nice twist there at the end. didnt see it coming.