The Irish Pub
 

As good as this pub is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink and he hires the fairest barmaids."

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, “at my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two and the bar maids will dance with you all night long."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in me favorite pub, the moment ya set foot in da place, dey'll buy ya a drink, then another, all da drinks ya like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, dey'll take ya upstairs and see dat ya gets laid, all on da house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. The Irishman swore every word was true.

“Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, “but it did happen to me sister quite a few times...”

Funny.