Originally Posted by Jetée

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A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is your problem?" Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!" The teacher had had enough. She took (edit: Johnny) to the principal's office.

While Johhny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him, and he agreed to take the test. And so the examination commenced:
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Johnny: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade student should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third-grade." The teacher says to the principal, "Would you allow me to ask him some questions?" The principal and Johnny both agreed.
The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Johnny, after a moment of deep thought, answers "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!?
Johnny replied, "Pockets."
Teacher: What does a dog do that a man steps into?
Johnny: Pants
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny was taking charge.
Johnny: Shake hands
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
Johnny: Bubblegum
Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Johnny: Coconut
The principal was now feeling a bit flustered by the onslaught of such unnerving questions.
Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Johnny: Yep.
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Johnny: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Johnny: Wedding Ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Johnny: Nose
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Johnny: Arrow
Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?
Johnny: Firetruck
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Johnny in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself."
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