uncle phil

Yes" = No

"No" = Yes

"Maybe" = No

"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry

"We need" = I want

"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now

"Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to

"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

"We need to talk" = I need to complain

"You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs

"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house

"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep

"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive

"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like

"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

"Is my butt fat?" = Lie to me

"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me

"Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead]

"Do what you want." = You'll pay for this later

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Baraka_Guru

I wish I had this years ago!

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

Must... refrain... from... ugh... must... not... GAHD.

*leaves thread*

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

Is this one of those "it's funny because it's true" or is it "not funny because it's true"?

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

I was just trying to poke fun at my posts from 2007.

...

Although, the one like "oh, he's just one of my friends" = "you're being replaced as we speak" needs to be mentioned.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

KirStang

QFT

Plan9

You know the worst part about it? I tried to play Modern Mature Man about it both times. Fuck that noise.

Third time's a charm, right? "Oh, he's just a friend." "That's cool. You can go live with him. Pack your stuff."

...

Wow... I didn't mean to get all MY FEELINGS'D! in this thread. Sorry, Uncle Phil.

...

I should do the Man's English thread now.

"I'm listening." = "I'm scrambling to remember what you just said and respond intelligently. I was daydreaming about cars, boobs, or sizzling red meat."

I do that one all the time.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

uncle phil

been there, done that, cromp...

doncha just hate it?

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Baraka_Guru

Finding the truth via instant messaging logs is far more poignant.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

Wow, I need a stiff drink after reading this thread.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

It's a mystery as to why I'm not an alcoholic.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

Canadians have better coping mechanisms?

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

No. I just like to suffer in my own way. Why would I want to drown my sorrows when I can go all Alice in Wonderland with them?

I can't believe I've gone this long without treatment. I keep swallowing stuff down into my rabbit hole.

I'm afraid I'm going to become as mad as a fucking hatter.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

You don't need treatment, damaged goods guy. You need a solid system shock. Put things in perspective. Do something new, be someone different.

What's that one bumper sticker? HARLEY-DAVIDSON: Because you never see a motorcycle parked in front of a shrink's office.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

I hope you intended the bumper sticker as metaphor because I can't even afford a bicycle. Though I do already have one. Do people lock bicycles up in front of shinks' offices?

But I hear you. I may have said "treatment," but if I wanted docs & drugs, I'd have done that by now, especially since I get get that stuff for free. I can see what you mean by system shock. I've thought of that many times; I just don't know what form that would take. I live in a turtle shell.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot