A pirate walks into a bar...
 

...and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

Pirate: "What do you mean. I feel fine."

Bartender: "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

Pirate: "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

Bartender: "Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

Pirate: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really"

Bartender: "What about that eye patch?"

Pirate: "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye."

Bartender: "You're kidding. You lost an eye just from birdshit?"

Pirate: "It was my first day with the hook."

Nice.

a man walks into a bar...


...he's an alcoholic and its destroying his family.

Original joke: Ouch!!!

SSJ: Way to bring the cold, harsh reality into this...

I have to remember this one.

Hahaha... good one, Phil.

...

SSJT, I'm going to use that tomorrow in the middle of a presentation.

This is the first walk into a bar joke I actually liked.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel sheet on his head. The bartender asks him why. "Arrr..." says the pirate, "I've got a bounty on me head!"