uncle phil

Two blondes were driving down the road.

The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Xerxys

A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to walk home.

One the way he bumps into a guy who is all bloody and mangled.

The guy limps up to the stoner and says "Call me an ambulance!"

The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles and says, "You're an ambulance!"

Mikey'56

I actually lol'd

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Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body,
But rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting..Holy Shit! What a Ride!