uncle phil

Last month a world-wide Phone survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure because of the following:

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In the US they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

And Finally...

In Australia they just hung up because they couldn't understand the Indian accent.

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

lulu_mq

HAHAHA! So true, and so incredibly funny! Thanks for the good laugh Uncle Phil.

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What kind of bee's make milk?! ..............BOOBEES!!!

Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away.
-- Elbert Hubbard

Redlemon

Ouch.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.