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Old 12-29-2009, 03:41 AM   #1 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
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Location: upstate
Pulling a Golfer's Chain

He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.

On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf.

He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant.

Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself!

"While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU!" It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care and you will be her care giver! She will need IV's; you will have to change her colostomy bag every 3 hours; she will have to be spoon-fed 3 times a day and don't forget the hygiene care."

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.

The doctor snickered and said, "I'm just messing with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"
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Old 12-29-2009, 06:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
Crazy
 
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Location: Tupelo, MS
umm, wow

just... wow
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Old 12-30-2009, 01:45 AM   #3 (permalink)
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
 
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Location: Southern England
Gallows humour. Like it.
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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

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Old 12-30-2009, 05:17 AM   #4 (permalink)
Paladin of the Palate
 
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Location: Redneckville, NC
I laughed, I like it, dark humor is the best humor. Next to poop jokes.
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Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru View Post
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:18 PM   #5 (permalink)
Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator.
 
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Location: Windiwana
nice one phil.
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Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
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