Things I Learned in the South - 9
 

You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car...

Why would you carry jumper cables for someone else's car? They should have their own cables. Down here in the south we don't have to worry about people stealing our shit so we just leave the keys in the ignition. That leads to mishaps like leaving the headlights on which can run the battery dead before you sober up and realize that light shining through your bedroom window ain't a UFO.

Why do I end up replying to all these south jokes...

I agree with you, Reese. Sure, I've used my cables to jump other people, but it's primarily carried around in my car in case, for some reason, I can't start it. People in the north carry cables around for other people?

Well, I carry jumper cables for other people. I think I'm some kinda Good Samaritan. I might use them on my car at some point, but I generally take care of that heavy box under the hood that shoots sparks when you touch a wrench to it, so I haven't actually had to use them for myself yet.