uncle phil

$ I hear other golfers on the PGA tour are trying to contact Tiger's wife to find out which club it takes to beat Tiger.

$ After the accident Tiger called 1st: his attorney, 2nd: his
agent, 3rd: Kobe Bryant's Jeweler.

$ This was no accident, the whole thing is a Nike Ad for a new
"rescue" club.

$ Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly... but put me down for a 5."

$ Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.

$ What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can Drive a golf ball 400 yards.

$ What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

$ Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

bazkitcase5

haha, those are pretty good

$ When Tiger Woods told his wife he wanted to get 18 holes in, she thought he was talking about golf.

Leto

yes, and what does Tiger Woods and a baby seal have in common? They've both been clubbed by a Norwegian....

__________________
You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey
And I never saw someone say that before
You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr

http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I

nomcat

Tiger would have avoided the car crash if he'd used his driver.

__________________
There are many powers in the world, for good or for evil. Some are greater than I am. Against some I have not yet been measured. But my time is coming.

hunnychile

HA! These are great! Keep 'em comin'......

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"I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

streak_56

Whats the difference between Santa and Tiger? Santa stops at three Hos.