Essential Desert Objects - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 10-08-2009, 03:08 AM

A judge was punishing three men because they had committed a crime. Their sentence was a few years in the desert. He said that they could each take one thing with them.

The first guy decides to take an umbrella, so that he can have shade whenever he wants.

The second guy decides to take a water bottle so that he won't get thirsty.

Finally, the third guy decides to take a car door.

The judge asked, "Why in the world would you want to take a car door?" The man replies, "Just in case it gets hot, I can roll down the window..."

Plan9 · 10-08-2009, 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uncle phil

A judge was punishing three men because they had committed a crime. Their sentence was a few years in the desert. He said that they could each take one thing with them.

The first guy decides to take an umbrella, so that he can have shade whenever he wants.

The second guy decides to take a water bottle so that he won't get thirsty.

Finally, the third guy decides to take a car door.

The judge asked, "Why in the world would you want to take a car door?" The man replies, "Just in case it gets hot, I can roll down the window..."

Oh, man... I wish I'd had this one in 2006.

new man · 10-08-2009, 11:53 AM

Hey, isn't the third guy a polack? I guess that joke changed since elementary school a quarter century ago.

Politically correcting old jokes just doesn't work as well.

For example, here is a punchline: Wave.

Now what is funnier?

How do you get a onearmed man out of a tree?

How do you get a onearmed polack out of a tree?

uncle phil · 10-08-2009, 02:42 PM

new man, are you of polish descent, as am i?

new man · 10-09-2009, 07:03 AM

naw, I am of Irish descent, you know, the blacks of Europe. Course I never lived in Europe so that was never a problem. But really I am American. I have never put too much stock in people's heritage; I am more concerned about what they are doing now.

for example, my stepfather is a Mayflower descendant through Benjamin Barton. BFD. He has never cared, but his mother registered them all as Mayflower descendants. His kids are a piece of work. One is loopy, and a pain to be around, but the other is a drug abuser and alcoholic who molested his own daughter. So having a 400 year old name doesn't mean much. My family name goes back further, but it is what I do that counts.

10-08-2009, 03:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Essential Desert Objects A judge was punishing three men because they had committed a crime. Their sentence was a few years in the desert. He said that they could each take one thing with them. The first guy decides to take an umbrella, so that he can have shade whenever he wants. The second guy decides to take a water bottle so that he won't get thirsty. Finally, the third guy decides to take a car door. The judge asked, "Why in the world would you want to take a car door?" The man replies, "Just in case it gets hot, I can roll down the window..." __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

10-08-2009, 02:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	new man, are you of polish descent, as am i? __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

10-08-2009, 11:53 AM	#3 (permalink)
new man Banned	Hey, isn't the third guy a polack? I guess that joke changed since elementary school a quarter century ago. Politically correcting old jokes just doesn't work as well. For example, here is a punchline: Wave. Now what is funnier? How do you get a onearmed man out of a tree? How do you get a onearmed polack out of a tree?

10-09-2009, 07:03 AM	#5 (permalink)
new man Banned	naw, I am of Irish descent, you know, the blacks of Europe. Course I never lived in Europe so that was never a problem. But really I am American. I have never put too much stock in people's heritage; I am more concerned about what they are doing now. for example, my stepfather is a Mayflower descendant through Benjamin Barton. BFD. He has never cared, but his mother registered them all as Mayflower descendants. His kids are a piece of work. One is loopy, and a pain to be around, but the other is a drug abuser and alcoholic who molested his own daughter. So having a 400 year old name doesn't mean much. My family name goes back further, but it is what I do that counts.