If You Had What I Have
 

A guy runs into a bar and says, "Bartender, quick! Give me 20 shots of your best Scotch!"

So the bartender lines up 20 shots of his best Scotch and watches this guy down one after the other.

"Man," the bartender says, "I've never seen anyone drink shots that fast!"

"You'd drink them that fast too if you have what I have," the guy says.

"Oh my God," says the bartender, "what do you have?"

"50 cents."

Oldie but goodie

I don't get it. Is he talking about 50 Cents the rapper, is it a type of bad drink, or the amount of money he has?

3rd one

guy: yeah, I'm celebrating my 1st blowjob.

bartender: Cool! next one's on the house!

guy: Nah, if 20 shots of scotch won't get the taste outta my mouth, one more won't.

nice twist!