uncle phil

A guy runs into a bar and says, "Bartender, quick! Give me 20 shots of your best Scotch!"

So the bartender lines up 20 shots of his best Scotch and watches this guy down one after the other.

"Man," the bartender says, "I've never seen anyone drink shots that fast!"

"You'd drink them that fast too if you have what I have," the guy says.

"Oh my God," says the bartender, "what do you have?"

"50 cents."

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Tully Mars

Oldie but goodie

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I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

KellyC

I don't get it. Is he talking about 50 Cents the rapper, is it a type of bad drink, or the amount of money he has?

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Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

gamefreak1398

3rd one

jimk

guy: yeah, I'm celebrating my 1st blowjob.

bartender: Cool! next one's on the house!

guy: Nah, if 20 shots of scotch won't get the taste outta my mouth, one more won't.

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raw power is a guaranteed o.d.

raw power is a laughin' at you & me

-iggy

biznatch

nice twist!

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