uncle phil

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.


An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.'

The doctor asked, 'Where?'

Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em?'

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Xerxys

Mildly funny but only because I don't know what shingles are.

uncle phil

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Raghnar -ITA-

how can you have a track full of shingles? O_o

__________________
English N00b - Please help if you have time and correct my errors

uncle phil

???

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Ilow

I cannot believe I had to go here...

Main Entry: shin·gles
Pronunciation: \ˈshiŋ-gəlz\
Function: noun plural but singular in construction
Etymology: Middle English schingles, by folk etymology from Medieval Latin cingulus, from Latin cingulum girdle — more at cingulum
Date: 14th century

: an acute viral inflammation of the sensory ganglia of spinal and cranial nerves that is associated with a vesicular eruption and neuralgic pains and is caused by reactivation of the herpesvirus causing chicken pox —called also herpes zoster, zoster

Main Entry: 1shin·gle
Pronunciation: \ˈshiŋ-gəl\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English schingel, alteration of Old English scindel, from Medieval Latin scindula, alteration of Latin scandula
Date: 13th century

1 : a small thin piece of building material often with one end thicker than the other for laying in overlapping rows as a covering for the roof or sides of a building
2 : a small signboard especially designating a professional office —used chiefly in the phrase hang out one's shingle
3 : a woman's haircut with the hair trimmed short from the back of the head to the nape

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"Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about"
--Sam Harris