uncle phil

An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through, she leaned over and whispered to her husband, 'I just let out a long silent fart. What Do you think I should do?'

He replied, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid...'

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

nrclark

This is the reason i go to tilted humour . . .

Seeker5509

...adds new meaning to the "silent, but violent" fart...

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Full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes - Adm David Farragut

Iliftrocks

Oh hell, that was funny

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bill hicks - "I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out."