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Old 08-18-2009, 02:36 AM   #1 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
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Location: upstate
Louisiana Pond

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond way in the back.

It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five- gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Some old men can still think fast.
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- Robert S. McNamara
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We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
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you both get dirty;
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Old 08-18-2009, 04:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
Upright
 
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lol
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Old 08-18-2009, 09:07 AM   #3 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
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Old 08-26-2009, 03:06 PM   #4 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Physically in Houston, TX - Mentally Lost in Time
classic funny
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Attention everyone: We have another potential asshole in the area !

You don't have bad luck, the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass !!

Dinner $50
Drinks $30
Motel $40

Finding out she swallows -
PRICELESS!!!
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Old 08-26-2009, 07:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
Master Thief. Master Criminal. Masturbator.
 
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Location: Windiwana
if you're afraid of alligators, then you deserve it.
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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller
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