uncle phil

Jim and his buddies were hanging out and planning a 5-day golf trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go because his wife wouldn't let him.

After a lot of teasing and name calling, Jim headed home totally frustrated. The following week when Jim's buddies arrived at the golf resort, they were shocked to see Jim sitting in the lobby, drinking a beer, holding his putter!

"How did you talk your wife into letting you go, Jim?"

"I didn't have to," Jim replied. "Last night I slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then, my wife snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise.' When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and said, 'Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed, and you can do whatever you want.' SO HERE I AM !"

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

Reese

hahahahahaha!

__________________
“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

genuinegirly

Wow! Talk about a terrible day for the wife.

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Moyaboy

You mean a week. Ouch!

__________________
"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."
- Steven Weinberg

grumpyolddude

Makes me proud to be a man!

__________________
"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard